September 30, 2010

Various and sundry

Now that the NYC Clash of the Trivia Champions is behind us (viva, Fuckface Murray Abraham!), I'm playing catchup. This blog is no exception—I'll be scaling back the Sponsor Spotlights for now, and I do plan to revisit (and finish!) my reviews of all 34 of my favorite songs. Someday, someway. (Awesome song in its own right but no, not worthy of my greatest-hits roster.)

But for now, a few general notes:

—The next quiz is at a new venue, and on a new day: Tuesday, October 12, at the Midtown Theater (within the Ha! Comedy Club), mere steps from Times Square, on 46th Street—and yes, they serve appetizers. This is a really sharp venue that, most nights of the week, hosts Power Balladz, a fun jukebox musical. The show is dark on Tuesdays, and thanks to BQT regular Mark Weiser, we've been offered the space. As I've mentioned at the past few quizzes, we're going to experiment with bouncing around venues and days of the week, so let me know if you any suggestions. The issue here, though, is we don't have any dates booked beyond that (in NYC—we're back in Boston November 8), so stay tuned to the calendar.

—This Monday, I'm live on stage as part of the October edition of "Bindlestiff Open Variety," a crazy-awesome show presented by the Bindlestiff Family Circus, New York's premier not-really-family circus troupe. (Longtimers might recall Keith Bindlestiff as the expert juggler who manhandled various vegetables as part of a very strange BQT special round at the Slipper Room.) I don't know whom I'll be on stage with, but this should give you an idea of what you have in store, and I think I'll be treating a few lucky volunteers (and the audience) to the Pop Music Thesaurus. It's at one of my favorite NYC venues, Galapagos Art Space, in Dumbo. Beware the darkened pools of artsy water.

—It's October already; you've just about wasted another perfectly good year being a fan of the Big Quiz Thing. But end-of-the-year is the BQT's favorite season, since it's holiday-party time, and we're currently accepting your bookings. (Yes, you. No, not you.) E-mail booking@bigquizthing.com. And like last year, if you refer us to your office's powers-that-be and we get the booking, I'll give you free admission to the BQT throughout 2011. 'Cause I'm good like that.

September 28, 2010

Ladies and gentlemen, we have champions

You know, people, New York City is one hell of a city. Millions of people, an unparalleled world cultural center, the site of uncountable historically significant event, home to the greatest thing in the world ever. But there's one thing NYC did not have…until now.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you, New York City's undisputed masters of trivial knowledge: Fuckface Murray Abraham!
On the far right is Jonathan Corbblah, a familiar face at the BQT, but his teammates are only very occasional Big Quiz Thingees; tonight, they were playing as representatives of the weekly bar quiz at Pete's Candy Store in Williamsburg. Together, these four men—now $1,000 and four trophies richer—proved, beyond a doubt, that no one in the world's greatest city knows as much stupid shit as they do.

But let's backtrack a bit. FFMA won despite faltering in Round 3 on the question "What do these celebrities have in common: Ralph Nader, Doug Flutie, Salma Hayek and Frank Zappa?" 
(Jonathan insisted that "Each name has ten letters" should count, but despite his answer's accuracy, I called quizmaster's prerogative on that one.) I was thankful that there was very little whining at tonight's show, despite the high stakes—people were serious, sure (a Smart-Ass Point was hard to come by), but bless you all for excellent sportsmanship. No one cheated, as far as I could tell so I didn't have to subject anyone to this:
Great stuff all around—EDP, clad in sharp tuxedo, pulled out all the video stops for this one. Hardest question of the night? Probably this: Hillary Clinton is the only First Lady to later serve as a U.S. Senator. Who’s the only Second Lady to later be a U.S. Senator?


Easiest question: During the DJ GB's expertly constructed "Slooow-FAST!-Slooow" audio round, "Poker Face" at double speed. It really didn't sound that different.

The Three-Way Finale: Well, I called it—non-BQT regular teams would be near the top. It was Fuckface Murray Abraham, Dempsey's Midnight Runners (representing one of the few other trivia events in the city that I'd recommend), and—not leaving my usual gang of nerds out in the cold—Fat Kids Waddle Into the Future. It was first player to three correct answers (not the usual two), and these gentlemen (oh yes, definitely all men) knew their stuff. Everyone got at least one point on the board—though I wasn't surprised that no one got "What verb, beginning with the letter g, retains its essential meaning when you change the g to a j and double the final letter?" But FFMA claimed ultimate, ultimate, super-ultimate victory with a confident ringing-in on "What 1988 movie was based on a 1982 TV show that lasted only six episodes?" Glorious.

The standings:

1. Fuckface Murray Abraham: Nice. That's the name you have to trivially worship for the next year. $1,000 and trophies.
2. Fat Kids Waddle Into the Future: Repping for the BQT. $400 plus other junk, including this very awesome thing.
3. Dempsey's Midnight Runners: They got the "super-secret prize": We paid their bar tab (up to $200, but they weren't remotely that drunk).
4. Hostage Crisis for Cutie (né Cash Cab FC)
5. The Fantastic Fournicators: Winningest team in BQT history
6. First Degree Nerder: Top team of the BQT's very early days; beware, for they have returned.
7. Team! The Musical/The Wandering Jews (tie)
9. Gerard Depardouche
10. Incontinental Congress/Les Quizerables

All of those teams won awesome shit. One last shout-out to our sponsors:
Time Out New York, Sony Music, The New York Burlesque Festival, The Coney Island Cyclone and the Coney Island History Project, The Gutter, The Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre, Babeland, the best of Off Broadway, Metro Metro's Board Game Olympics, Rock of Ages, Freud's Last Session, Accomplice: New York, Hussies from Hell

Endless thanks to the Highline Ballroom, to the B-Cuties, to my gal Sherry for making my awesome new Luxor-style jacket, and to you all for being there and helping to make it a such a ripping success.

Want more BQT? We're back with the familiar show, at an unfamiliar venue, on Tuesday, October 12: The Midtown Theater, 46th Street just off Seventh Avenue (yes, Times Square). More dates on the way here.

September 24, 2010

Sponsor spotlight: Burlesque!


Legions of people worship me, of course, and those folks may be aware that I occasionally find myself in the company of burlesque types. That wonderfully resurgent art form all about suggestive dancing, boobs, showmanship, boobs, fantastic costumes and boobs. What I like most about burlesque is that the women involved in are of various and many shapes and sizes, but almost without exception, they go out there and shake it with confidence and flair, giving 80 million percent. It's a philosophy that I share—who cares if I'm a dork, I'm going all out for a fucking trivia show—and, naturally, admire.

Through my burly-q connections, I've found myself hosting and/or appearing in a number of said events (this, this, and this), and I called in favors for this Monday's NYC Clash of the Trivia Champions: We got show tickets.

The eighth annual New York Burlesque Festival begins this Thursday, September 30, running through October 3 at a whole mess of venues. Nobody puts on a show like this people. It culminates on the 3rd at the soon-to-be-familiar Highline Ballroom for the spectacular Golden Pastie Awards. (Vote now! And no, I'm not nominated for anything, and while I've worn many odd things in my life, I've never put on a pastie.) We've got two passes to the opening-night party, Thursday the 30th at Brooklyn Bowl (which, by the way, is an awesome venue, even though a proposed plan to bring the BQT there fell through).

Plus, later in the burlesque season (I think I just invented that concept), get ready for Hussies from Hell, a spooktastic show on Sunday, October 31, also at Highline Ballroom. Details for this are sketchy at the moment, but I put that amazing poster at the top of the post, and I do think I will be blowing it up, framing it, and hanging it over my bed. (The ladies love me.) We got two passes for this as well.

All this and more, Monday night. Reg. Is. Ter.

September 23, 2010

Sponsor spotlight: CONEY ISLAND!

This past summer was something of a renaissance for my most beloved of Brooklyn 'hoods, Coney Island. The new Astroland is no Six Flags, but it's a great little family amusement park, shiny, clean and idiosyncratic. There was plenty of fun to be had at the freak show and on the Boardwalk, including yours quizzly hosting a super-fun T-shirt contest. Everything was the way Coney should be: grungy and great. And of course, the Cyclone: my favorite roller coaster, badder and better than ever.

Next summer promises to be even better, and you can get a jump on the fun. At Monday's NYC Clash of the Trivia Champions, we've got two Coney-affiliated sponsors…

The Coney Island History Project, "a not-for-profit organization that aims to increase awareness of Coney Island's legendary and colorful past and to encourage appreciation of the Coney Island neighborhood of today." An excellent cause. And for the prize haul, they're kicking in a nice little prize package: a copy of the book Coney Island Lost and Found
…a couple DVDs of the Coney-set documentary Up on a Roof, and some T-shirts. And: the Cyclone!

A bunch of free rides (and T-shirts) on the greatest roller coaster in the galaxy. The season's over, but put the passes in a safe place and whip 'em out when the '11 season begins in April (put them where you kept your Pavement tix). Monday night!

And here it is, from the front car:

September 20, 2010

Sponsor spotlight: Metro Metro


Here's an interesting one: Metro Metro, an NYC operation that organizes various BQT-fan-friendly events: scavenger hunts, a monthly Board Game Olympics, etc., etc. Basically, they join the Big Quiz Thing among the small fraternity (if only there were a fraternity) of NYC organizations that allows a social life for people like us.

Their events are extremely well organized and very friendly—which is how I managed to make contact with them, basically just showing up at the last Board Game Olympics and hyping the NYC Clash of the Trivia Champions (one week away!). They're on board (heh) as a sponsor, kicking in two free passes to the a future BGO, a $60 value. When I visited, there was a dizzying array of games on offer—Taboo, Trivial Pursuit, Memory and—appropriately, in the marquee position—the great, great Jenga.

Each pass is good for a team of four, and it takes place one Sunday a month at Union Hall, an extremely attractive venue in Brooklyn. Details on Metro Metro's site.

I leave you with this: Some genius somewhere having unauthorized fun with a Jenga set. Bring one of these to the Board Game Olympics and all the girls will want to get to know you:

September 18, 2010

Sponsor spotlight: The best of Off Broadway

So far, I've told you about a handful of the many prizes on tap for the NYC Clash of the Trivia Champions (nine days away!)—the Gutter, Babeland, UCB Theatre. Lest we forget one of the BQT's standby prizes: theater tickets.

You've heard me talk ad infinitum about The 39 Steps, but (a) it's that good and (b) they keep offering us tickets. So I'll keep taking them and giving them to you. We got a pair in the haul for the Clash. Plus…

Stomp. Oh, yes, It's been playing at the Orpheum Theater in the East Village for what seems like forever (though I did see the original production of Little Shop of Horrors in that space in the '80s; first musical I really loved), a seemingly impossible feat, considering the energy those performers expend. Nonstop choreographed dance and percussion. If this show doesn't excite you, you have no pulse. Video preview:



The Gazillion Bubble Show. This I have not seen, so maybe I'll steal these tickets. "The first and only multimillion dollar stage production created by using bubble media," it's billed as. I mean, come on! It's fucking bubbles! How can you resist that? Sure, the website prominently features a quote from Regis Philbin, but otherwise, this is amazing! Here's head bubblemaster, Fan Yang, in action:



That and so much more. But you can't win unless you play. Register, register, register!

September 16, 2010

Sponsor spotlight: UCB Theatre


BQT regulars know that the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre—without question the city's premier improv theater—is a semiregular contributor to the prize haul, specifically passes to its marquee improv show, ASSSSCAT 3000. It attracts round-the-corner lines every Sunday night, but BQT winners get to cut past the comedy nerds and walk directly into that famously low-ceilinged den of laughter.

You never know who will take part, but you're guaranteed quality performers (UCB doesn't give its top spots to just anyone; as an embittered former mediocre improviser, take it from me). They might even be famous performers: I love how the UCB site wisely words it: "possible special guests" from the panoply of TV comedy favorites: SNL, The Daily Show, Conan, and of course, The Goldbergs.

And yes, they're on board for the New York City Clash of the Trivia Champions, only 11 days away. A pass for two to ASSSSCAT 3000, for one of our lucky, lucky teams. Never too late to register, my friends.

Here's a video of the original UCB players doing the ASSSSCAT thing. The YouTube page says this was filmed in the UCB Theatre, which would defy the laws of physics; thankfully, Amy Poehler clears things up pretty quicky:

September 14, 2010

Recap: A wind blows through Crash Mansion

So really, what was going on last night? Why the—I will say it—crappy turnout? Thirteen teams? I blame it on (a) the rain, (b) Jay-Z and Eminem at Yankee Stadium, (c) Monday Night Football, (d) a vast right-wing conspiracy. Not in that order.

Ah, who cares, since those of us who were there had enough fun for 13,000 teams. I had been playing with that "TV last names" four-parter for some time, though I was surprised how few of you knew what TV character, who debuted in 2002, had the last name "Little." No, it wasn't Malcolm Little.

We also had fun with Public Zoo (an echidna in Las Vegas! a liger in Mumbai! a Loch Ness Monster in Amsterdam!), a four-parter about lunatic politicians, and the "Name-Droppers Unite!" audio round. Really, people, you don't know "Sweet Soul Music"? Let us pause for a musical interlude:



As for the Three-Way Finale: Time Travelers for Stephen Hawking vs. Gerard Depardouche vs. Jefferson Davis Starship. I was unsurprised that no one knew this—How many times a week does something happen if it occurs hebdomadally?—but it was worth a shot. Though I was scandalized that no one got this very fun question: Last week, VH1 Classic punningly played 24 hours of music by what hard-rock band? (One nerd in the audience got it. Only one?) At last, John of the Time Travelers won with a very lucky guess on this: Famous for being one of the first words in the dictionary, the aardwolf is not a wolf, but an African variety of what mammal? Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha…

The winners, forgive this not artistic photo…
The standings:
1. Time Travelers for Stephen Hawking: No longer Strippers?
2. Jefferson Davis Starship
3. Gerard Depardouche
4. Incontinental Divide
5. Sugah Titz

Next: It's almost here! The New York City Clash of the Trivia Champions is nearly upon us! Monday, September 27! At the Highline Ballroom! Hot damn, register now!!!!!!!!

September 12, 2010

Tonight's NOT-SO-SECRET SECRET CLUE

And here we go. Here's the NSSSC for tonight's BQT. Letters are nice:

You never forget how.


And there you have it. Use it when the wacky theme song is heard, 7:30 at Crash Mansion—the last BQT before the NYC Clash of the Trivia Champions! Oh, it's a little wistful, isn't it…

September 11, 2010

Ring of Honor: Definitely pro, definitely wrestling

For several years during my childhood, I was a huge pro wrestling fan. And my dad—who was willing to do anything for his kids—was a good enough sport to take me to more than a few live WWF events, including WrestleManias III and V. I clearly recall, waiting online to get into the Pontiac Silverdome for WMIII, my father looking at the crowd and wondering out loud how many of the people thought wrestling was real. Thankfully, nobody kicked his ass.

In hindsight, the answer was "some." I'd guess it was about half the children (and there were lots of children there), and a small percentage of the adults, believed that Kamala the Ugandan Headhunter was actually a cannibal from the jungles of Africa. But I think most of the grown-ups knew the score. As I often say, if you complain that wrestling is fake, you're missing the point: It's supposed to be predetermined, and the punches are only partly pulled. Nobody complains that West Side Story is fake.

Tonight I went to a live wrestling card for the first time in more than 20 years: I was at the Grand Ballroom at Manhattan Center (same complex as Hammerstein Ballroom) to see Ring of Honor's "Glory by Honor IX." Eight matches of some serious, serious professional wrestling. Ring of Honor prides itself on being a higher caliber than the current WWE product—much less emphasis on the soap operatics, much more appreciation of the physicality of the show. I saw suplexes, I saw powerbombs, I saw a whole lot of enzuigiris. Predetermined or no, these guys are serious athletes, and the fans are serious about their appreciation of it.

Most of the matches followed a formula: two (or four) roid-sculpted bantamweight men expending frightening amounts of energy, trading punches, kicks, and disturbingly punishing-looking holds and throws. (The closest thing to a "hardcore" match was a "double chain" contest—two guys vs. two guys, each one chained to a guy on the other team. It was brutal and bloody, but they used the gimmick to tell a nice story.) One match—labeled "Best of the Best"—pitted Austin Aries against "the Fallen Angel" Christopher Daniels, and ended with a ridiculously amazing move that I can only make a pathetic attempt to describe: Basically, Daniels dropped Aries face first upside down from the top turnbuckle, three quarters of the way across the ring. Incredible.

As for the crowd, hoo-boy. Other than the fact that I was sitting next to the single biggest drunk asshole in the room (he seemed to find a lot of humor in shouting "I love HIV"), these people were true connoisseurs. They sat down to watch the action, they clapped after every impressive spot, and—lest you think they were refugees from the Bolshoi Theatre—they chanted in reaction to nearly everything ("Fuck him up!" was common; "Future jobber!" was funny). They also threw streamers into the ring at the beginning of every match. When is some cultural anthropologist going to write a dissertation about it? (Wait, someone did.)

If my dad asked how many of the people there thought it was "real," I would have to say zero. There were no kids there, and with the advent of the Internet, pro wrestling pretty much gave up on "kayfabe"—the code that dictates you never, ever admit that the characters are constructed, the outcomes scripted. Besides, as I say, if you think wrestling is fake, you're missing the point. And the people at the show tonight clearly were getting the point.

If you care about results, this guy was quick with the recap. Otherwise, I leave you with this: a three-and-a-half-year-old match between two of the superstars of the show, Austin Aries and Eddie Edwards. Enjoy:


September 10, 2010

Sponsor spotlight: Babeland

Okay, get ready. You will find this either hot or awkward—maybe both:

Babeland, New York City's premier women-oriented sex shop is on board with the NYC Clash of the Trivia Champions. Apropos, since the Big Quiz Thing is the world's premier women-friendly quiz event (maybe; never thought of it that way, but perhaps now I have a new marketing angle).


Babeland declares that it offers "sex toys for a passionate world," so this is not as left-field a sponsorship choice as you may imagine: Participants at the Clash of the Trivia Champions will be very passionate. See how I did that?

No confirmation yet what exactly they'll be kicking in, though it looks like it'll be a few tickets to the various workshops on offer, and maybe even items from their celebrated line of high-quality vibrators.
By the way, none of this is a joke.

Ladies, check out everything Babeland has to offer on its website. Gentlemen, check it out for a different reason, if you're inclined. And remember that if you win one of the vibrators, don't give it to a girl you like until you've been on at least a few dates first. Learn from my mistakes.

September 7, 2010

Clash of the Trivia Champions in The New Yorker


Yes! We got a blurb in the "On the Horizon" column of this week's New Yorker (page 19, September 13 edition—the one with the little girl carrying her belongings on the back of a burro). Not only that, there's an extra-special illustration: great rendition of me, Shiny Jacket No. 1, the Three-Way Finale, and the BQT trophy. Though my face bears an excessive degree of stubble: Sonny Crockett as quizmaster?

The Clash is coming up fast, less than three weeks away. And you're not registered because…?

September 4, 2010

Reporting from Pop-Tarts World

As I headed down 42nd Street yesterday, my persistent addiction started to dig its claws into me. The sugar craving. I looked around for a candy-bar-laden newsstand at which to feed at the trough of processed sweetness, but oddly, nothing (the one I passed by seemed to have plenty of gum, but nary a Whatchamacallit). And then, a beacon shone ahead of me: Pop-Tarts World.
I'd read about this new Times Square theme store, but the concept still didn't seem real to me. But here I was, with the craving, and it seemed like a sign from on high. So I went inside.

It's been my impression that venues like these—heavily branded, multimedia—aim to be more of an "experience" than just a store, and as much as that sounds like advertising bullshit, in this case, it was true, though I wouldn't exactly call it a great experience. What an odd place.

I was a few minutes late for this:
But I can imagine. Probably lots of Pop-Tarts-shaped rectangles and random squiggles. There was a T-shirt designing station, a mini art exhibit…
…what looked like an unused dance floor, and most notably, this:
"The Varietizer." A giant upright Pop-Tarts coffin, attended by a small touch-screen computer. You select six different flavors of Pop-Tarts and watch as the machine assembles a 12-Tart box of your own design. The sugar demon pushed me forward and I tapped out my selections, all sorts of flavors that I didn't know existed in the Pop-Tarts-verse (I haven't bought a box in probably 15 years): Cookies and Cream, Cookie Dough, Cinnamon Bun. I stopped at four selections, then asked an attendant how much all of this cost.

"$12," he said. "One dollar per Pop-Tart."

If there's one thing stronger in me than my sugar jones, it's my cheapskatedness. I backed away from the Varietizer.

Instead, I visited the café. While waiting, I perused the PT-branded merchandise…
…then gazed up at the hard-to-read (and even-harder-to-photograph) menu.
You probably can't see it, but this place serves "Pop-Tarts Sushi." I'm sorry, I can't recall what it consists of, but I didn't confirm that no fish is involved.

I was overwhelmed. Part of it was that the café line was just poorly designed—two large wall menus, neither very easy to read, the servers behind imposing, opaque barriers. I selected a blondie with pieces of Pop-Tart embedded in it, for $2.99, then fled to the hazy Times Square streets.

The blondie was tasty, but I detected none of that ineffable Pop-Tartiness. Late that night at home, when the sugar monster struck again, I wished I'd let the Varietizer do its thing for me. But I had no souvenir from my journey to Pop-Tart world. Did it even really happen?

September 2, 2010

Sponsor spotlight: The Gutter

I'm starting a little series here, in the run-up to the New York City Clash of the Trivia Champions, spotlighting the various sponsors we've roped in for the event. And let us start with…


Probably the best bowling alley in NYC, although the competition isn't that fierce from my POV. The Gutter is a simple concept: a bare-bones but not scummy bowling alley, decent bar food, great atmosphere, not insane prices. The Williamsburg-hipster quotient is forgiven by the fact that (a) it's actually in Williamsburg, and (b) bowling culture is pretty much the primordial ooze of hipsterism. They're kicking in two certificates for an hour of free bowling. Check it out next time you want to throw something heavy.

Meanwhile, I'm reminded of a clip I found on YouTube recently and used for the video round "A Quick Tour of Game Show History." This was the true glory days of television:

September 1, 2010

Clash update: Video promo!

All right, start getting used to it: For the next several weeks, this blog is going to be heavy heavy on info about the NYC Clash of the Trivia Champions (September 27, Highline Ballroom, blah blah). Starting with this video promo. Good stuff from EDP; spread it around: