September 28, 2010

Ladies and gentlemen, we have champions

You know, people, New York City is one hell of a city. Millions of people, an unparalleled world cultural center, the site of uncountable historically significant event, home to the greatest thing in the world ever. But there's one thing NYC did not have…until now.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you, New York City's undisputed masters of trivial knowledge: Fuckface Murray Abraham!
On the far right is Jonathan Corbblah, a familiar face at the BQT, but his teammates are only very occasional Big Quiz Thingees; tonight, they were playing as representatives of the weekly bar quiz at Pete's Candy Store in Williamsburg. Together, these four men—now $1,000 and four trophies richer—proved, beyond a doubt, that no one in the world's greatest city knows as much stupid shit as they do.

But let's backtrack a bit. FFMA won despite faltering in Round 3 on the question "What do these celebrities have in common: Ralph Nader, Doug Flutie, Salma Hayek and Frank Zappa?" 
(Jonathan insisted that "Each name has ten letters" should count, but despite his answer's accuracy, I called quizmaster's prerogative on that one.) I was thankful that there was very little whining at tonight's show, despite the high stakes—people were serious, sure (a Smart-Ass Point was hard to come by), but bless you all for excellent sportsmanship. No one cheated, as far as I could tell so I didn't have to subject anyone to this:
Great stuff all around—EDP, clad in sharp tuxedo, pulled out all the video stops for this one. Hardest question of the night? Probably this: Hillary Clinton is the only First Lady to later serve as a U.S. Senator. Who’s the only Second Lady to later be a U.S. Senator?


Easiest question: During the DJ GB's expertly constructed "Slooow-FAST!-Slooow" audio round, "Poker Face" at double speed. It really didn't sound that different.

The Three-Way Finale: Well, I called it—non-BQT regular teams would be near the top. It was Fuckface Murray Abraham, Dempsey's Midnight Runners (representing one of the few other trivia events in the city that I'd recommend), and—not leaving my usual gang of nerds out in the cold—Fat Kids Waddle Into the Future. It was first player to three correct answers (not the usual two), and these gentlemen (oh yes, definitely all men) knew their stuff. Everyone got at least one point on the board—though I wasn't surprised that no one got "What verb, beginning with the letter g, retains its essential meaning when you change the g to a j and double the final letter?" But FFMA claimed ultimate, ultimate, super-ultimate victory with a confident ringing-in on "What 1988 movie was based on a 1982 TV show that lasted only six episodes?" Glorious.

The standings:

1. Fuckface Murray Abraham: Nice. That's the name you have to trivially worship for the next year. $1,000 and trophies.
2. Fat Kids Waddle Into the Future: Repping for the BQT. $400 plus other junk, including this very awesome thing.
3. Dempsey's Midnight Runners: They got the "super-secret prize": We paid their bar tab (up to $200, but they weren't remotely that drunk).
4. Hostage Crisis for Cutie (né Cash Cab FC)
5. The Fantastic Fournicators: Winningest team in BQT history
6. First Degree Nerder: Top team of the BQT's very early days; beware, for they have returned.
7. Team! The Musical/The Wandering Jews (tie)
9. Gerard Depardouche
10. Incontinental Congress/Les Quizerables

All of those teams won awesome shit. One last shout-out to our sponsors:
Time Out New York, Sony Music, The New York Burlesque Festival, The Coney Island Cyclone and the Coney Island History Project, The Gutter, The Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre, Babeland, the best of Off Broadway, Metro Metro's Board Game Olympics, Rock of Ages, Freud's Last Session, Accomplice: New York, Hussies from Hell

Endless thanks to the Highline Ballroom, to the B-Cuties, to my gal Sherry for making my awesome new Luxor-style jacket, and to you all for being there and helping to make it a such a ripping success.

Want more BQT? We're back with the familiar show, at an unfamiliar venue, on Tuesday, October 12: The Midtown Theater, 46th Street just off Seventh Avenue (yes, Times Square). More dates on the way here.

5 comments:

Jonathan said...

Great Job Noah. Hard work paid off, and you got a good representation of teams from around the city.

Bill Scurry said...

You kicked our fucking asses last night. Well done on reaching the bottom of the ocean with your trivia bathysphere.

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