June 30, 2009

Hail to the hirsute

While availing myself of some ridiculously delicious Wise Honey BBQ potato chips from the vending machine at the day job, I noticed something interesting…
Sorry for the crappy photos and inaccurate date, but I am a legendarily bad photographer. Still, my point is made: The fictional sample President pictured on the venue machine looks like no President that had ever occupied the White House. He has shoulder-length hair and a walrus mustache. Apparently, in Vending Machine Land, General Custer survived Little Bighorn and was elected chief executive immediately afterward.

The choice of this picture really puzzles me, since we haven't had a President with facial hair in almost 100 years. Apparently, modern Americans think if you haven't shaved, you have something to hide. There was a bit of a to-do several years ago, in fact, when Jon Corzine was first running for governor of New Jersey and advisers told him to lose his beard; he refused, but won anyway. (And of course, we here in New York now have our own bearded governor, for all the good he's doing us. New Mexico's joined the club too, though I suspect Richardson stopped giving a shit once he flamed out in the presidential election.)

Discounting the sweet sideburns on the face of President Martin Van Buren (1837–1841), our first facially haired President was Abraham Lincoln (1861–1865). Nine of the next eleven chief executives were hirsute (counting Grover Cleveland twice, as most historians do). Best of the lot was definitely Rutherford B. Hayes (1877–1881):

That last to be mustachioed was William Howard Taft (1909–1913). Personally, I think facial-hair hatred has always been baseline for American culture; the late 1800s were an anomaly, brought about by the Civil War. For whatever reason—maybe just that both Lincoln and Lee wore whiskers—facial hair became fashionable during the conflict, and it was nearly mandatory that postwar politicians appropriate the look (if not an actual record) of Civil War service. The aesthetic persisted long enough to carry over into the early 20th century, but was dead by the First World War. Still, check out this sweet look on 1916 Republican nominee Charles Evans Hughes:
That last hirsute major-party nominee was New York's own Thomas Dewey, Republican candidate in both 1944 and '48:A famous quip from the '44 campaign was from Alice Roosevelt Longworth (TR's eldest), who compared the Republican to "the little man on the wedding cake." Humiliation like that went a long way toward both of Dewey's losses. The tide was turning against facial hair, never to return, despite what the vending-machine industry says.

Bonus: Check out the great T-shirt BQT doorgirl Sherry got me for my birthday last year (the back gives an honorable mention to Martin VB):

June 25, 2009

MUST GET NEWS ON MICHAEL JACKSON!

Yes, big story. Ed McMahon's moving down the couch.

First, his absolute best song:



And below, I just wrote this up for Time Out New York's music blog, a sort of "memories of Michael Jackson" piece, but I might as well share here. MJ trivia to come at the next quiz or two, for sure…


For anyone born when I was—1975—Star Wars has the ingrained importance of a folk legend, and Michael Jackson strode like a titan within popular culture. He was easily the most important man on earth when I was at that formative age, and I wasn't even a fan (I preferred Hall and Oates).

Bowing to some kind of pressure, the administration of my elementary school herded us all into the auditorium one afternoon to screen the extended
"Thriller" video. (One girl's parents got upset; they were crazy Christians and the occult content offended their sensibilities.) Around the same time, my fourth-grade teacher gifted honor students with Michael Jackson posters (I gave mine to a dumb girl I had a crush on). I opted for Thriller as my monthly cassette tape purchase in early 1983, not because I really wanted it, but simply because I felt I needed it as a human being. I'm sure adults at the time had a different perspective, but I remember Michael Jackson uniting the culture in the way that the Beatles had earlier (I'm told), and in a way no one ever will again in our media-fractured society.

For the record: I later developed an appreciation for most of Thriller, became a fan of his Jackson 5 work and never believed for a second that he molested those kids.

UPDATE: We're jamming on the MJ for the next quiz: Monday, July 6, the audio round will now be "Maximum Michael Jackson." Plus more Bubbles-friendly trivia during the night. Sham-ON!

You will have the time of your life

Quizmaster news: 92YTribeca, an excellent event that I've been looking to get involved with for some time now, is hosting "Swayze Days of of Summer" in July, a festival of films starring the ugliest sex symbol in Hollywood history, Patrick Swayze. And on Friday, July 17, for a little extra kick before the requisite screening of Dirty Dancing, I will make a guest appearance, presenting a brief Swayzoid trivia quiz for several lucky audience members (with fantabulous prizes). Come and try to play, or better yet, come and laugh at those who do play (and at me, of course).

I cannot tell a lie, Dirty Dancing is not among my most beloved films of all time, but it's a definite touchstone for my generation; 99.9 percent of the girls in my middle-school class discovered their gonads while watching this movie, so I should've grown to love it if I wanted to lose my virginity before age 31. But I give it serious credit for its genuine period feel and the dancing talent on display, and for a typical ace acting job by my homeslice, Jerry Orbach. We shall not speak of "Hungry Eyes."

Regardless, details: Friday, July 17, at 10:30pm, at 92YTribeca (Hudson between Canal and Desbrosses). A mere $10. Official info here.

If I got you feeling nostalgic, look for video clips here. Better yet, watch this much funnier Swayze moment:

June 24, 2009

NT's greatest hits, No. 15 (of 34)

More rock & roll!


"Teenage Kicks" by the Undertones




Amazingly, this is the best copy of this song I can find online. But even if it's new to you, it is indeed a classic, easily one of the most beloved pop songs in British history. I own two completely separate compilations of classic British punk that are both titled Teenage Kicks, so that should tell you something.

The Undertones were a young Irish pop-punk band that did pretty well in the U.K. in the late '70s—"My Perfect Cousin" and "Here Comes the Summer" are nearly as excellent—peaking with this 1978 single, a basic but insistent declaration of pep and hormones. "A teenage dream's so hard to beat/Every time she walks down the street" has a kind of savant genius to it. Famously, the single was picked up by John Peel, a tremendously influential DJ of the era, who awarded it 28 stars on his five-star scale, played it nonstop, declared it his favorite tune of all time, and now has a line from it inscribed on his tombstone. Dedication.

I wouldn't go quite that far—the song doesn't exactly have a lot of texture, and I don't have that much adolescent nostalgia—but you can't beat "Teenage Kicks" for a straight-between-the-eyes rock song. That riff will absolutely never get old, and you can feel the band's genuine youthful anxiety—lead singer Feargal Sharkey was only 20 at the time, guitarist and songwriter John O'Neil was 21—oozing through every note.

As a bonus, my lady friend turned me on to this: a cover version by Nouvelle Vague, a French band that covers new wave, punk and postpunk as bossa nova tunes (making their name an exceedingly clever pun). I love the way she enunciates "right through the night"…



More of NT's greatest hits:
"Strawberry Fields Forever"
"Tunnel of Love"
"I Get Around"
"Local Girls"
"Don't Let's Start"
"Suffragette City"
"See-Saw"
"My Name Is Jonas"
"Mr. Tambourine Man"
"Reelin' in the Years"
"Objects of My Affection" and "Crimson and Clover"
"OK Apartment" and "Just What I Needed"

June 23, 2009

Threeways are NOT overated

First of all, seriously, I swear, another Super Mega Ultra Hard Question soon. Plus, more of my favorite songs. Plus, more, more, etc., etc.

So while EDP was sorely missed at tonight's BQT—we're all curious how the family did on the Food Network—we had what could be accurately described, I believe, as a barrel of monkeys. Nine teams—nine!—out of 23 got that supposedly impossible rock logo correct (see above), and you absolutely cleaned up with the Sporty Sounds audio round. (Yes, not songs about sports, but actual audio of people playing and others commentated pro sports. Man, I never knew darts was so exciting.) Massive thanks to Claudia for guest-sidekicking; she now returns to the ranks of team Tattoos for the Elderly. See, she's just like you!!!

Great Smart-Ass Point tonight: "Courtesy Thomas Edison, the first word recorded and played back on a phonograph was what proper name?" The Smart-Ass answer: Satan, but it was backwards. Nothing like 1980s-style backwards-masking paranoia for a good belly laugh.

And man, what a finish! Three-way tie! Returning champs Cash Cab 4 Cutie, perennial victors Gerard Depardouche, and brand-new debuting team the Farsi Side. Onstage tiebreaker with the bells! (And yes, I bring three bells with me each time, just in case this happens.) A nail-biter as none of the players know…

What incredibly weird 2001 film included conversations about time travel and the sexuality of Smurfs?

But the Douche knew…
What do you call a young domesticated pigeon that has never flown and is raised for meat?

Then Cash Cab riposted with…
In which river did John the Baptist baptize Jesus?

Again, no one got…
In the early 1990s, a new comic-book publisher called Image Comics briefly dominated the industry, largely on the strength of what new character?

But then the Farsi Side caught up, stealing a correct answer on…
Of the three candidates who received electoral college votes in the 1912 presidential election, how many of them served as President at some point, past present or future?

And finally, in an ever-so-close finish, TFS took it on…
What was the apropos nickname of the 16th and 17th century Greek religious painter who worked primarily in Spain?

And thus, our standings:

1. The Farsi Side: A victorious debut!
2. Cash Cab 4 Cutie/Gerard Depardouche (a tiebreaker for second would've been anticlimatic, and besides, I was running out of questions)
4. Strippers for Stephen Hawking
5. Fantastic Fournicators/Fat Kids Ruin Your Gas Mileage (tie)

July 6! Two days after the Fourth of July, we're busting out an American theme: "An Entirely Presidented Quiz" in the video, "Welcome to America!" in the audio. Party time.

June 17, 2009

This Monday: RAWK!

A video-round preview for Monday. We're doing "Rock Logo-a-Go-Go" (not unlike "Sports Logo-a-Go-Go" we did many moons ago). I've futzed with a few well-known rock band logos, you must ID the band (yeah, band—thought about using a few solo artists, but I ended up not). So…what's this?

Too easy? Eh, maybe. Let's see how smart you are Monday, smarty!

Plus, EDP will be out, but we'll see the return of Comical Claudia Cogan as our guest sidekick. Watch this…


June 22, 7:30pm, Crash Mansion. Twang!

June 14, 2009

NT's greatest hits, No. 14 (of 34)

Back again, continuing the series of posts about your quizmaster's favorite songs…"Strawberry Fields Forever" by the Beatles

Want to get a quick, superficial idea of someone's personality? Ask them these three questions:
1. What's your favorite flavor of ice cream?
2. Whom do you identify with more: Superman or Batman?
3. What's your favorite Beatles song?

All can be determined from an individuals answers. Mine are (1) mint chocolate chip; (2) Batman (I'm a little dark); (3) "Strawberry Fields Forever." There, now you know me. You can stop reading this blog now.

One of the things that made the Beatles so very, very great—the best rock band ever, an unbiased observer has to admit—was how they fully embraced the "experimental" side of rock music, during its first mainstream flowering, without losing sight of the melodies, rhythm and colorful lyrics that make so much rock & roll so much fun. "Strawberry Fields Forever" is a hella weird song—the title refers to a mental institution—but the playful, lilting tune can keep any listener engaged. As I've mentioned many times in this series, I love the weird, so long as the weird is in service to something that can enjoyed without the use of a slide rule and a Nietzche text.

I think of rock acts that spiraled too far down the weirdness road—Captain Beefheart is a handy icon of that. Interesting, sure, but I can't feel any of that in my soul. On the other end of the spectrum, take the Rolling Stones, whom I've loved at various points, but who have spent way too much of their career flogging the same decomposed blues-rock-decadence horse. The Beatles found the sweet spot in the center, and applied a ridiculous amount of talent to creating something of value in that place. Many things of value; "Strawberry Fields" may be my favorite Beatles song, but there's a long and lovely list of runners-up.

And yes, check out the creepy musical reprise at the end of "Strawberry Fields." Used to scare the crap out of me, especially the "Cranberry sauce"/"I buried Paul part" at the end. In my more susceptible moments, I still wonder if Paul really is dead, if Billy Shears formed Wings, and if the Beatles were really Satanic lunatics bent on destroying the youth of the Western world. Those are the days I should really leave the apartment more.

June 11, 2009

When worlds collide

Just wanted to pass along this great video from Slate (a favorite time-wasting site).


Yes, yes, it makes me want to do drugs more. But I'm more fascinated by the concept of the crossover: all the various characters owned by disparate companies teaming up for the same project, appearing together in a shared universe. I've always been of two minds about these projects. I mean, it was a thrill to witness Superman and Spider-Man clashing…
…but what are the implications? All of the DC and Marvel characters inhabit a single world? What does that mean for long-term continuity? Do the Teen Titans confront Galactus when he threatens Earth? Does the Punisher try to murder the Penguin? Is the Doom Patrol jealous of the X-Men's resources and cachet? Yes, it's just a story, but for a true comic geek, it raises too many necessary questions to answer in a single one-off publicity event.

Other times, the crossover is a neat fit, and adds a welcome richness to a series's back story. Like how it was established The Golden Girls and Empty Nest occurred in the same fictitious Miami…

(Sorry for the poor quality; a car burglar stole my Empty Nest DVD box set.) Despite the discomfiting humor here, there don't seem to be too many major reverberations to this. Blanche, Dorothy and Rose are ensconced quietly down the street. The middle-aged Floridian crises are small enough that nothing would necessarily draw the attention of unseen characters (except when it does, as in the well-handled "Hurricane Saturday" crossover event, which is woefully underdocumented on the Internet). Nice and easy.

Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue avoids any pitfalls (or benefits), of course, since the characters coexist only in the young man's pot-addled dream mind. In fact, as Slate's commentator points out, that's a fairly realistic scenario, someone blitzed on weed and dreaming about Bugs Bunny, the Muppet Babies, and the animated version of Alf all at the same time. This is genius.

June 10, 2009

Pimpin' for the day job

I scored a 63 on Time Out New York's big quiz this week: I belong here "only until [I] age out." Among the least surprising news I've gotten in many a moon. Although I disagree with the usage of the word temporary; it certainly doesn't feel like I'm just making a pit stop here.

Click on the bottom link to take it yourself. You have only yourselves to blame.

DO YOU BELONG IN NYC?
Only until you age out.

Sorry to say it, but you're a temporary New Yorker. Sure, this city is awesome for running around and enjoying your youth, but you came here to work and play hard and plan on jetting at the first signs of crow's feet or when your parents stop financing that party lifestyle of yours. Plus, if you ever decide to settle down and have kids, there's no way you're bringing them up in a studio. Click here for suggestions about how to really enjoy NYC.

Do you belong in New York City?

June 9, 2009

Big crowds, big noses, other big appendages

That's that Ripley's Believe It or Not museum wax model I was telling you about at last night's show, apropos to the question "An 18th-century British circus freak named Thomas Wedders was famous for having a seven-and-a-half-inch what?" No idea why Maggie Gyllenhaal is in the photo, though.

Ah, last night: The hottest looks and the biggest stars were in attendance at Crash Mansion for the triumphant return of the Big Quiz Thing! We played "The Flag Day Fashion Show"—saucy!

Seriously, last night was the best BQT in a while, but that's partly because it was the only one in a while. We're back on every other Monday for the summer, so have no fear.

What did we learn?

-- EDP and I have a disagreement over whether there needs to be more camaraderie among the audience. I say yes—I'm a community builder—EDP says no, let them battle it out. The crowd seems to take his side. But here's the rub: I love questions like "What word describes both of the following: An expensive type of marbled Japanese beef, and a legally challenged L.A. Lakers star?" Because while it might be easy (a "lay-up," as B-Cutie Nicki coyly put it), it's fun. Besides, you gotta throw a bone to the non–trivia geniuses.

-- Huey Lewis, apparently, is well endowed (this we learned during the question "What 1984 Huey Lewis and the News hit song mentions in its lyrics New York, L.A., D.C., San Antonio, Boston, Baton Rouge, Tulsa, Austin, Oklahoma City, Seattle and San Francisco?"). True? Debate, discuss. Or better yet, completely don't care.

-- It's pronounced "ka-PREE pants," not "CAP-ree." Like the bags of juice.

-- Someone out there was cheating, apparently. Whether it was reading off of Touched by an Uncle's answer sheet or bringing a book of flags, someone scraped the bottom of the lameness barrel. Brav-o!

The top five:

1. Cash Cab for Cute: A return to greatness. But for how long? How long!!!
2. Birds of Ill Omen 2.0: Not bad for their first quiz in a while.
3. Fantastic Fournicators: Always within spitting distance, if not the ones being spat upon.
4. Fat Kids Resort to Incest: I cannot believe I just typed those words in that order.
5. Strippers for Meredith Viera: Why the name change? Some mysterious were not meant to be answered.

Gerard Depardouche, of course, did not make it five in a row. They came in tenth place!

We're back on the 22nd. In the meantime, I'm going to try to get back on the frequent-blogging tip; I've been too busy tweeting trivia, which, let's face it, is a shitload easier and rather more au courant.

June 4, 2009

Sad, but leads me to an interesting discussion…

The death of David Carradine is unfortunate, of course—reminds of why my short-lived plan to to do an "Artists Who Killed Themselves" audio round was idiotic—but I can't pretend that I was ever a fan. I've never seen Kung Fu (for shame, I know), and I have to confess that I often confused him with his half brother Robert Carradine, star of one of my favorite movies in my callow youth.

And really, I have a bone to pick with Mr. Carradine, or at least one of his characters. In Kill Bill Vol. 2, he gives the following speech:




Interesting, but there's a problem with this that rankles my geeky soul. Yes, true, Superman didn't become Superman, he was born that way, Clark Kent is his commentary on us pitiful earthlings. But the comparison (however brief, or merely implied) with Batman is false. Batman is the same way: The costumed hero is who he really is, "Bruce Wayne"—or at least the rich dingbat that the public believes Bruce Wayne to be—is the disguise. (This point was slammed over our heads in Batman Begins.) When his parents were murdered, he essentially became Batman, even if he'd yet to concoct that specific identity; he constructed the Wayne facade to throw people off the trail. (At least, according to most continuity; you know how it is with comics.)

Silly, of course, to blame this in any way on Mr. Carradine; he didn't write that speech, and his performance was spot-on. But really, isn't flinging arrows at Quentin Tarantino just way too '90s at this point?

June 1, 2009

Super Mega Answer: Oh, Happy Days!

Back from vacation (or at least en route). Last week's Super Mega Ultra Hard Question has been answered, and the correct response is…

(Richie was played by Ron Howard. Richie's dad's name was Howard Cunningham. I cannot begin to recall how/why this popped into my head.)

Congratulations to Greg of Strippers for Stephen Hawking, who got it right and won the drawing for free admission. As a bonus, Greg posed to me the following question.

What first and last name combination is shared by a character on one TV series and an actor on another?

He also says "the shows are linked in two different ways." Any guesses? I'm stumped, but I'm probably not trying that hard. Though I do suspect that there's more than one valid answer.

As another bonus, the extended version of the Happy Days theme song (the post–"Rock Around the Clock" one). Cheesilicious goodness: