February 25, 2010

"Chess on ice"

That's a quote from…oh, I don't know who exactly. But it was used in a BQT question once upon a time:

Due to the complex nature of stone placement and shot selection, what sport is sometimes referred to as “chess on ice”?


The answer, naturally, is the hot, hot, hot sport du jour, curling. Yipee!

I can pinpoint the first time I ever heard of curling: September 1990. I'd just moved from New Jersey to Montreal, Canada; just migrated from a world of multicultural public school theater geeks to the land of jacket-and-tie, all-boys private-school sports meatheads. (Not a long story, but a rather sad one.) One of the first days of school, a rather nasty fellow (I remember the name but will not share it) took note of my slight build and lack of obvious athletic acumen and asked, "Are you going to join the curling team?"

What? "Curling"? Never heard of it. I imagined an intramural activity of fancifying ribbons on birthday presents. More realistically, I imagined that "joining the curling team" was some kind of Quebecois slang for being a homo dork.

Anyway, no, curling was (is) an actual activity and/or sport, my school did indeed have a curling team, populated by the geeks and weirdos. And while I would become a proud member of the weirdo/geek class, I never did join the curling team. Never curled, and didn't think about the sport much after high school.

Until recently. Curling was officially named an Olympic sport in 1998, and the history of this activity is mildly interesting, but too weird to go into here; I'm more interested in the crazy blip in popularity that the game seems to be enjoying at the moment. I mean, it's always weird how the Olympics seem to get Americans interested in sports that they couldn't give a monkey's ass about the other 206 weeks of the quadrennial, but curling is really throwing me for a loop this time. In the past week, I've been to no fewer than three public venues where the frozen shuffleboard has been playing on multiple TVs, with more than a few patrons watching with at least moderate interest. Huh. I don't recall anyone noticing curling in '06 or '02, but now, it is all the rage.

An apt observation about curling is that it looks neither fun nor athletic, and I mostly agree: It certainly takes skill, and while I'd rather eat carpet tacks than curl, I can see how some people might find it amusingly distracting. But it's still weird, and weird that New Yorkers suddenly care. Curlers wear specialized curling pants and shoes, and sometimes utilize a device called a "delivery stick." And of course, they use brooms, which might be unique in sports, unless you count quidditch.
Check out this glossary of curling, and understand what an involved world those wacky curlers have created for themselves. Good for them.

But here's the funniest thing: While curling was officially declared an Olympic sport in 1998, it had been intermittently played as a "demonstration event." But in '06, for Lordy knows what reason, the Olympic Committee retroactively decided that the 1924 curling competition was a "real" Olympic competition, that a bunch of guys who'd probably been dead for 20 years were suddenly Olympic medalists.

What is the point of this? Give medals to dead guys who throw rocks on sweep the ice around them? Who does this benefit? Come to think of it, what's the real point of the Olympics anyway? Whom does it actually benefit? Why do we spend so much money on it? And why do we care about it? Furthermore, what's the point of this whole world? What's the point of life?

I am a seeker.

February 21, 2010

Audio round: The Wizard of Oz

I've reneged on my promise to regularly upload various BQT audio rounds to the blog, but hey, here's something: The Wizard of Oz–themed edition from last October. Name the title and artist for each song, with some kind of Oz association. E-mail info@bigquizthing.com for help/answers/good deals on vintage ruby slippers.

To listen, log in to lala.com; free, easy and you stay logged in forever.

Desert island desserts (and other foods)

Yesterday, someone asked me to name my favorite foods. More specifically, the ten foods I would choose if I could eat only ten foods for the rest of my life, which is a completely absurd question. But it is more interesting than just "What are your favorite foods?" So I obliged. Here's what I came up with, in random order, with very little time to think this through, and a fair amount of hunger.
1. Chipwich: I like ice cream like anyone, but it's never inspired in me the passion that some others seem to feel. It needs more, I suppose. The Chipwich—ice cream between two chocolate chip cookies, rolled in chocolate chips—is more. The perfect more. Though it is a little disturbing that the official website describes it as a "premium novelty," which makes me think of plastic vomit.
2. Plain bagel: I eat way too much of these things, ten times a week in some bizarre chapters of my life. Butter or cream cheese, occasionally salmon spread, once in a while lox. Toasted sometimes, untoasted others. And good, big fat, ones, New York–style, not emaciated California or Montreal ones; I am fortunate to live near one of the best spots in the city.
3. Pizza: Obvious, but true. We've been over this.
4. Goldfish: The crackers. Perfect level of salty and cheesy. Speaking of which…
5. Blue cheese: Mold is good. I'm a bit of a cheese nut, but I'd never had a specific favorite till recently. But the last few years have been the Era of Blue Cheese for me: salad dressing, melted on sandwiches, etc. And besides, we need to encourage the concept of blue food, the chromatoculinary blind spot of nature.
6. Chocolate chip cookies: Perhaps this is redundant with Chipwiches, but so be it. Mrs. Toll House is my lord and savior.
7. Broccoli cheese soup: I never understood people who think broccoli is disgusting; it's the best vegetable. It's tasty, crunchy, and it's like eating a little tree. But if you really want to knock it out of the park, break it in tiny pieces and drown it in warm cheese. Am I right?
8. Chocolate pudding: Like your mouth is taking a shower in chocolate.
9. Custard-style strawberry yogurt: Like your mouth is taking a shower in fruit.
10. Chicken: This is very vague, I know. But despite recurring vows to go at least somewhat vegetarian, I eat a whole lot of chicken, in various preparations, almost always off the bone (Buffalo wings usually make me gag). I think I'll go get a burrito at Chipotle right now.

February 16, 2010

Prizes and Calendar: Faster monkeys! Scamper! Scamper!

Another comment about Monday: Thanks again to our sponsors, 92YTribeca, the beautiful venue that's been generous with the movie passes. This week, we gave away two seats to this Saturday's screening of the trashily delightful Russ Meyer classic, Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! I'm ashamed to admit I've never seen this beacon of American cinematic enlightenment—this Saturday is the day, mayhaps. Who's in?

Meanwhile, speaking of 92YTribeca, I will certainly be there this Friday for Kevin Geeks Out About…Monkeys!, this month's edition of Kevin Maher's nerdily good variety show. Prepare for movie clips, academic lectures, music—and, of course, trivia—about simians of all stripes, not just monkeys. (And to answer a question from Monday night: Yes, monkeys, not Monkees.) Be warned, as I do in these variety-show appearances, the quiz is played by three lucky audience members, though it's a delight for everyone in the room guaranteed.

As always, do you have (a) a business that would like the sponsor the Big Quiz Thing or (b) a variety show that would like to feature a trivia challenge from Quizmaster Noah? E-mail info@bigquizthing.com and savor your good judgment.

UPDATE: Kevin Geeks Out is sold out! All thanks to me, right?

Recap: Hookers and Presidents

Not exactly, but sort of. Well, maybe. Actually, probably not.

Last night's Big Quiz Thing was—do I dare say it?—one of the best ever. Presidents' Day is a nigh-holy occasion for me, as I've often stated, so I was proud to offer you all "Presidential Limericks." And you did great—you know your ultimately inconsequential American history, even Chester A. Arthur was not spared your trivial wrath. Extra props for Fat Kids, this week playing as Fat Kids Vote Taft, for being one of the three squads to rack up a perfect score on this round. Beware the undersized bathtub in LPR's VIP section, fellows.

The audio round was about prostitution, titled "The Oldest Profession" (I was surprised how few of you got What glamorous-sounding job, referenced in the Bible, is known as “the second-oldest profession?, though I suppose it could be construed as a tad vague), and I forgot to mention how proud I was that DJ GB and I managed to avoid the most obvious selection. We also sidestepped "Love for Sale," "53rd and 3rd," "Lady Marmalade"…damn, there are a lot of songs about hookers. And, of course, this led us into some rather spirited reverse heckling of the Fantastic Fournicators and the comely young ladies playing on their squad (What did their T-shirts say? I can't recall. But anything cynical of V-Day is okay with me.) Have no fear; Fournicator Steve and I buried the spatula postquiz.

Smart-Ass Points highlights of the evening…
The hottest chili pepper in the world is often known as the BLANK chili, where BLANK is what stereotypical Halloween costume?
A: The sexy nurse chili

Finish this slogan from the show Friday Night Lights: Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, BLANK.
A: Full Bladder

And one of the Presidential Limericks:

Van Buren: There’s not much to say
Of his effect on the ‘Merican Way
Though he wasn’t so cheery
The best linguists’ theory
Is that he gave us the saying, “BLANK
A: Oy vey!

And yes, the oldest soloist on the new "We Are the World," age 83, is Madonna.

And of course, the Three-Way Finale remains the greatest thing in the history of live game shows, and Jefferson Davis Starship—after years of competition and hardly any victories—triumphed against stupidly long odds. JDS-er Anthony was slotted into the third-place runoff with returning champs Sugah Titz and Incontinental Congress. He stole away "Amazon.com’s bestseller list, No. 12 is what 1951 novel?" from the Incontinental rep (Atlas Shrugged—plausible, I suppose). Then in the big finale with Cash Cab for Cutie and Gerard Depardouche, Anthony implausibly claimed victory on "Winning an honorary Oscar in the process, what 1968 sci-fi movie spent 17% of its budget on makeup?" (one of my favorites, BTW). Amazing.

Now his life is complete

And, of course, the standings:
1. Jefferson Davis Starship: See above
2. Gerard Depardouche
3. Cash Cab for Cutie
4. Incontinental Congress/Sugah Titz (tie)
6. Fat Kids Vote Taft
7. The Fantastic Fournicators
8. Perfect Strangers Desperately Seeking Anybody
9. Large Hardon Collider
10. Cunning Stunts

March 1: We continue at the Red Fish, with a new element that turns that spotlight on…you, the audience. Intrigued? Stay tuned on this very blog for tantalizing info.

February 15, 2010

Tonight's NOT-SO-SECRET SECRET CLUE

Beautiful! Here it is: the NSSSC for this evening. Remember, we're back at (Le) Poisson Rouge tonight, 7:30. And we'll be there again in two weeks, March 1—more than ever, keep an eye of the BQT's various Internet presences to know where we'll be at all times.

Use this clue tonight when the wacky graphic/sound cue hits:


Oh, it's so fine.

Mysterious! All will be revealed tonight. (And no, Larry the Stooge has nothing to do with it, but his last name was Fine, and I really couldn't think of more appropriate image without giving something away. Work with me here.)

February 12, 2010

The Top 43 Sexiest Presidents

I was just forwarded this from Fat Kids regular Brian: The Top 43 Sexiest Presidents (as opposed to the bottom 43?). Great stuff here from Nerve; historically accurate and funny. And bravo for making my man TR the No. 1 sexiest President.

But since I am who I am, here's where I disagree. Keep in mind, BTW, I am indeed heterosexual:

-- While I like the sentiment behind "Bush is great one-night-stand material for all the same reasons that he was a terrible president," and I'm aware of how my political opinions might color my sexiness opinions, I would put Dubya way lower on the list than No. 7. Yeah, he was a party boy, but he always struck me as the kind of jock who was more into violence than sex. In other words, ladies, you probably wouldn't come.

-- Some of those obscure 19th century guys were pretty damn handsome. Credit for recognizing Franklin Pierce at No. 5 (I've read more than one historian who proclaimed him the most handsome Prez), but James K. Polk was quite striking; No. 12 might be too low. And Chester Arthur at No. 28? He may have been our most stylish President, and in an era of ubiquitous politician facial hair, he made the fashion-forward choice to wear muttonchops. Plus, yes, Rutherford B. Hayes's beard was proto–ZZ Top, but check him out as a clean-shaven young man. Sexxxy!
-- Warren Harding is way down at No. 41. I agree, he "had a face like putty," but apparently, in 1920, he was considered rather handsome. There's widespread belief that part of the reason the Republicans nominated him in 1920 is that he appealed to women, in the first presidential election they were able to vote.
But I pick in the nitty way. Get excited for "Presidential Limericks" at this Monday's BQT.

February 6, 2010

NT's greatest hits, no 24 (of 34)

It'll take the rest of my life, but it'll happen…

"Dead Man's Curve" by Jan and Dean

I am continually in amazement of this song; it is one of the weirdest tunes to ever break through to mass consciousness.




In the 1960s, Jan Berry and Dean Torrence were a couple of pot-smoking California beach bums, party buddies of the Beach Boys who just happened to possess a fair amount of musical genius. They racked up a series of fun, immaculately written pop hits in the mid-'60s: "The Little Old Lady from Pasadena," "Surf City" ("Two girls for every boy!!!"), "Drag City." In 1966, they recorded an entire album called Jan and Dean Meet Batman, which was clearly the result of doing bong hits while watching Adam West beat up Cesar Romero. A compilation album they released in the '70s featured a chart in the gatefold, listing every song and documenting who Jan and Dean were dating and what car they were driving while recording each song. On top of being the clown princes of surf rock, Jan developed a reputation as an ace West Coast record producer. They were smart and obnoxious, legendary defiers of record-biz bullshit, and a clear influence on the eventual development of punk rock.

"Dead Man's Curve" (1964) is a majestic, almost operatic story song about a drag race in Hollywood, whose destination was a famously dangerous bend in the street. The narrator is a kid recounting the incident, ticking of the names of real-life landmarks: Sunset and Vine, Schwab's Drugstore, LaBrea. The sense of impending doom is palpable, punctuated by the harmonized chant in the chorus: "Won't come back from Dead Man's Curve!" (I used to think this was "Walk on back from Dead Man's Curve!," which made me wonder why they built the street that way in the first place.)

The whole teen-tragedy genre of the '50s and '60s was weird to begin with, but this song ups the factor, with a harp-laden dissolve right in the middle of the second chorus into a spoken interlude. The narrator is now in the hospital, telling the doctor (this is worth quoting in full):

"Well, the last thing I remember, Doc, I started to swerve (minor chord)
And then I saw the Jag slide into the curve (minor chord)
I know I'll never forget that horrible sight (minor chord)
I guess I found out for myself that everyone was right (single bass drum beat)
WON'T COME BACK FROM DEAD MAN'S CUUUUURVE!!!" (sounds of cars screeching)

The big story about this song, of course, is that two years latter, Jan Berry smashed his Corvette not far from the theoretical location of Dead Man's Curve, smashing his head right through the windshield and sustaining serious brain damage. It effectively put an end to J&D's glory days, though he would recover, and the duo would tour the nostalgia circuit up until Berry died in 2004.

This song rocks, it's fun, it's interesting, it's dramatic, and it sounds amazing. Enjoy, and make sure you use your blinker.

More of NT's greatest hits: "Message in a Bottle," "Emily Kane," "Born to Run," "Shake Some Action," "Chips Ahoy!," "Radio, Radio," "Could You Be the One?," "Summer in the City," "Teenage Kicks," "Strawberry Fields Forever, " "Tunnel of Love," "I Get Around," "Local Girls," "Don't Let's Start," "Suffragette City," "See-Saw," "My Name Is Jonas," "Mr. Tambourine Man," "Reelin' in the Years," "Objects of My Affection" and "Crimson and Clover," "OK Apartment" and "Just What I Needed"

February 4, 2010

Next show update: Hail to the Limericks!

So me, of all people, just realized today that the next BQT—on February 15, and back at the palatial (Le) Poisson Rouge—coincides with Presidents' Day. (I feel like PD is usually in the 20s of February, but I'm not sure why; it celebrates both Washington's and Lincoln's birthday, the 22nd and the 12th, so 2/17 would be the ideal date, wouldn't it?). Shame on me; I'm supposedly the Presidents guy. I guess I've been too preoccupied with the Vice Presidents.

Anyway, I decided to change my intended plan for the next video round—something new I've been cooking called "Three Degrees of Celebrities," which we shall see at a future date—and instead mix up a brand-new batch of one of the first ever BQT special games, Presidential Limericks. Self-explanatory, of course.

An example from the earlier edition…

Harry Truman had almost no fear
His tough talk was without any peer
There was nothing he shirked
Hence a sign where he worked
Proclaiming that “The BLANK."


Killer. Ten brand-new ones, this time with more Chester A. Arthur!

Otherwise, we have a hot show in the works, befitting the surroundings. Post–Valentine's Day, it'll be an "Oldest Profession" audio round (take a guess), and our sponsor for the evening is once again 92YTribeca, which has donated a couple prize tickets to—believe it—Russ Meyer's supremely fucked-up B-movie classic, Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!, on February 20. Plus, since it'll be the first quiz after the Super Bowl; you longtime regulars can take a wild guess what one of the four-part questions might be.

Monday 2/15, 7:30pm, 158 Bleecker Street, you're there.

February 3, 2010

Video: A promo and a three-way!

Two new clips worth wasting precious work minutes on: Friend of the BQT and emerging filmmaker Bill Scurry made this nifty new promo video for the quiz. Have a look-see:



And, live from Harvard Square, Mrs. EDP shot this footage of the big Three-Way Finale at our show at Club Oberon last week. Doesn't really pop in this film; we're going to reshoot a later edition, but here it is regardless…

February 1, 2010

Recap: Songs suck, trivia doesn't

First thing: a bonus question…

What portmanteau word, derived from the title of a pop music song, has just been added to the Oxford English Dictionary with the definition "Sexually attractive, sexy; shapely"?

I ask that, because a team gave me a note at the end of the show, reading, "Seriously? 'Bootylicious' gets added to the Oxford English Dictionary and it doesn't so much as warrant a shout-out?!? I feel betrayed." Sorry, passed me by.

Tonight's quiz was ka-ray-zy!!! Lots of people, including a massive group up front celebrating the birthday of Michael (a.k.a. Moby look-alike No. 1). Glad you shared it with us. Other highlights…

-- Multiple mentions of the ubiquitous Lady Gaga (yes, she took her name from this song).
-- Some tough special rounds: Movie + Movie + Movie = TV Show was more challenging than I'd anticipated, but I think it's a great gimmick. Check out the previous edition here. And hey, "These Songs Suck (…Blood, 'Cause They're About Vampires)" was keying into the zeitgeist. That's my thing.
-- A cornucopia of juvenile Smart-Ass Points for "Typically, what are you going to get if you’re traveling to Pier 76?" A hooker, herpes, a blow job, a blow job from a teen hooker and—everyone's favorite—a reach-around. We're mature, we are.

And what a finish. Fat Kids made it to the Three-Way Finale, attempting to defend their crown, but they had to hold off the challenge of a resurgent Strippers for Steven Jobs (as they were known) and Sugah Titz, who did especially well on the audio round (I'm told that Kristin and Chrissy, two of the Lady Titz, spent many an hour studying vampire songs). But the most gregarious Tit of them all, Jonathan, clinched victory with "What current band is fronted by the guy who played Jordan on My So-Called Life?" I do not endorse his post-victory table-humping, by the way.

The standings:
1. Sugah Titz: First team to win twice in the Three-Way Finale era.
2. Fat Kids Are on Thin Ice/Strippers for Steven Jobs (tie)
4. Fantastic Fournicators
5. Gerard Depardouche
6. Cash Cab 4 Cutie
7. Jefferson Davis Starship
8. Big Green Cabbage/Tattoos for the Eldery (Scott Beowulf Edition) (tie)
10. Incontinental Congress

NEXT: We're back at (Le) Poisson Rouge, 158 Bleecker, on February 15, then we return to Crash on March 1. The magical Interwebs help you keep up.

Tonight's NOT-SO-SECRET SECRET CLUE

Ready?

Think Alabama

Use it at tonight's BQT when I give the word. 7:30pm, Crash Mansion, you're welcome.