Calendar: Bar mitzvahs and Boston

Just got official word about two forthcoming BQT events, both biggish news…

(1) We're doing a bar mitzvah, our first (if you don't count my actual own bar mitzvah; for all I know, my haftorah was indeed full of trivia questions in Hebrew). Since the early days of the quiz, people have jokingly suggested we'd be hot stuff on the candy-throwing-and-Coke-and-Pepsi circuit, but I was always wary of this. I have vivid memories of many bar/bat mitzvahs, with overhormoned teenagers running around suburban banquet halls like idiots, melting candles into parfait glasses and trying to get to second base with that one girl who was developing early. All good stuff, yet not fertile ground for an organized game. But this gig looks excellent: The mom assures me her son is a quiz nut, the crowd will be modestly sized, and I'm a pro by now. Should be fun (and yes, as always, e-mail booking@bigquizthing.com to set up your own private party).

(2) We're going to Boston! I mentioned it in the last calendar, but it's official: On Thursday, January 28, the Big Quiz Thing will be performing at Club Oberon, in Harvard Square in Cambridge, Massachusetts. (Yeah, okay, not literally Boston, but ten minutes on the T, you nit-pickers.) I spend a lot of time in that city, due to the presence of both my quizette and my family, so it feels like a natural move, and EDP is joining me on this trip so that we can show them how it's done—judging by the number of bars with quiz nights, trivia is a bigger deal in Boston than in NYC. Oberon is great—it's run by the American Repertory Theater, and is currently hosting The Donkey Show, which was a big hit here some years past (and, of course, was based on this, which is appropriate considering the venue name). I'll have a press release here tout suite, but in the meantime, tell your friends: Club Oberon, 2 Arrow Street, Cambridge, Thursday, January 28, 8pm, $10.

Think we should hit another city and know of a venue that would be appropriate? Say the word.

Recap: Murder, panhandles, and final rounds

As is too often the case, I underestimated you, my quizzlings. I had the moderate fear that at this edition of the BQT, the audio round topic, "Music Is Murder," would hit the red on the bad-taste meter. But you were all over it, like an ambitious prosecutor on a high-profile homicide case. Music clips from ten artists taken down by man's inhumanity to man, and we managed to limit it to three rap songs. DJ GB is very proud.

Plus, the "Movies of 2009: A Closer Look" (extreme close-ups of recent film posters) was more challenging than I anticipated; who knew the iridescent blue musculature of Dr. Manhattan would so quickly fade from popular memory? We also had fun with four-parters on panhandle cities and comic-strip coinages, and—courtesy the Not-So-Secret Secret Clue—some witty criticism of Gilligan's Island ("It’s difficult to believe it was written, directed and filmed by adults…"). Congratulations to Crash Mansion Staff Infection, the most important team out there, for scoring the lone Smart-Ass Point of the night on "1936 was the first year that Time magazine named a woman its Man of the Year. What American socialite received the honor?": J. Edgar Hoover.

But the big story was the first official Three-Way Finale: From now on, the top three finishing teams will each elect a member to come up on stage for a first-to-two, bell-driven final round. We had the expected (the Fantastic Fournicators), the hardy surprising (Strippers for Stephen Hawking), and the underdogs (Incontinental Congress). IC had played many a time, had never won, but they pulled it out in two straight questions, clinching it with "What last name was shared by major characters on the TV shows My So-Called Life and Entourage?" Bravo, sir. We're doing this again, for sure (and just so you know, I had good feedback from the Fournicators themselves, so peace reigns over all).

The standings:
1. Incontinental Congress (finally)
2. Fantastic Fournicators/Strippers for Stephen Hawking (tie)
4. Cash Cab for Cutie
5. Jefferson Davis Starship

Next up: Last of '09's quizzes, December 21, back at Crash. Then we begin '10 with our triumphant return to (Le) Poisson Rouge, January 4 at 7:30. Rock on with your bad self, or with a friend.

Tonight's NOT-SO-SECRET SECRET CLUE

As promised, from now on, the day of every flagship BQT event, I'll post here (and on Facebook and Twitter) a new Not-So-Secret Secret Clue. Remember the words below, and utilize them tonight when I say when…

What, they couldn't build a raft?

Delightfully cryptic, wouldn't you say? See you tonight at Crash Mansion, 7:30pm.

Calendar: The BQT's near future at a glance

I should've done this a long time ago. Here's a handy-dandy guide to Big Quiz Thing events in the next month and a half or so…

MONDAY, DECEMBER 7: The flagship show at Crash Mansion. $250 in cash prizes, of course. With "Movies of 2009, A Closer Look" and "Music Is Murder." Prizes from the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre and tix to the Menorah Horah (see below). And check here the day of for the second ever Not-So-Secret Secret Clue (7:30pm, $7).

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 11 and SATURDAY, DECEMBER 12: Quizmaster Noah will be making a special appearance in the third annual Menorah Horah variety show, starring the Schlep Sisters. Expect Hanukkah-themed trivia, along with material related to some other holiday that happens this month, I can't recall the name. We're at Two Boots in Bridgeport, Connecticut, on Friday (10pm, $16) and Southpaw in Brooklyn Saturday night (8pm, $12).

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 18: A double shot at 92YTribeca, as Quizmaster Noah takes part in Kevin Maher's Kevin Geeks Out holiday grab bag (8pm, $10), and then, before the 10pm screening of The NeverEnding Story, he does a quick quiz about '80s fantasy movies (10:30pm, $10).

MONDAY, DECEMBER 21: Last BQT of the year! At Crash Mansion, video and audio round TBD (7:30pm, $7).

MONDAY, JANUARY 4: The Big Quiz Thing begins '10 with a return to the glorious (Le) Poisson Rouge, site of the ridiculously awesome 200th Episode last August. We'll be bringing back "Rebus in Peace," along with the audio round "The Big Ending." Since this isn't a big milestone show, it's the usual $7 cover, but we do want to pack the room again; the more people, the more they'll be eager to have us back, and I have a massive venue-crush on this place (7:30pm, $7).

MONDAY, JANUARY 18: Back at Crash Mansion. Details seriously TBD, although DJ GB and I are discussing an Elvis Presley theme in honor of his 75th birthday, if you can believe it (7:30pm, $7).

THURSDAY, JANUARY 28: Just confirmed: The Big Quiz Thing is headed to Boston (actually, Cambridge). We're bringing NYC's Live Trivia Spectacular to Club Oberon in Harvard Square. Details forthcoming.

SOME OTHER TIME: We'll do your private party, any way you like it, you secret freak. E-mail booking@bigquizthing.com.

ALL THE TIME: Trivia on the BQT's Twitter feed.

Prizes: Win ASSSCAT 3000 tix Monday

Joining the prize armada this Monday: The Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre.

You're probably at least somewhat familiar with the UCB Theatre, a nexus of alt comedy in the city this past decade. I've seen some great stuff there over the years—and, to be fair, also some crap, but that's equally important for any comedy institution that takes chances.

And this week, we got tix to something that is most definitely not crap: UCB's marquee improv event, ASSSSCAT 3000 (any idea what the name means? or do I not really want to know?), every Sunday night at 7:30 and 9pm. Various big names get together for some of the UCB's trademark long-form improv—not the theater-games kind of improv, the more scene-oriented, less silly-gimmicky variety. As for who those big names are, it's folks from all the funniest programs on your TV set, like Saturday Night Live, Conan O'Brien, The Daily Show, and Glenn Beck. The 7:30 show is $10, and the 9pm one is free, but to get a ticket for that, you apparently have to line up, like, 37 weeks in advance or something. This show is stupidly popular, in other words.

But at this Monday's BQT, you have a chance to cut the line: Some lucky trivia/comedy hound will get a pass for two tickets to a 9:30 ASSSSCAT on the Sunday of their choosing. Hopefully, this will be the first of many UCB prizes at the BQT. Boo and ya.

Got a product/service that you'd like to hype via the BQT? Write info@bigquizthing.com—we're complete whores.

Quizmaster live: Geeking Out + Dark Neverending Adventures

Coolness: On December 18, I return to 92YTribeca, which is a classy yet eclectic venue (with a pretty fine café—I had an extremely tasty bowl of penne last time I was there), for not one, not three, not even 50 events, but two different shots of BQT-style trivia on the same night.
First, I'm taking part in an event that really, really has my name all over it. Kevin Maher's monthly series, Kevin Geeks Out, is a lot of fun, especially for people like you (and I know who you are). He and I have been trying to collaborate for some time, but the stars align for the December event, a holiday grab bag. I'll be doing a brief trivia spot with audience volunteers, for prizes, naturally.

Then later that evening, same venue (though possibly a different actual room—92YTribeca is rather labyrinthine), I'll be doing the preshow for a screening of that fondly recalled childhood distraction, The NeverEnding Story (I respect the CamelCase). It's part of the December film series Dark Neverending Adventures, a cavalcade of '80s fantasy films (before you click the link, see if you can guess what the other movies are; I know, not that much of a challenge). I'm going to be doing a set of questions about a variety of films, and these have been fun to put together; I find myself researching some wacky films I hadn't thought about in eons. Even The NeverEnding Story—haven't watched that since Amanda Saslow and her girlfriends forced me to sit through it after school one day in eighth grade (they thought the actor who played Atreyu was cute, coincidentally named Noah).

December 18, check the 92YT site for ticket info. While we're at it, I love doing as many events like this as possible—variety shows, unusual screenings, etc.—so e-mail noah@bigquizthing.com if you're in the booking business (and I work cheap, of course).

Adventures in bad trivia games

In honor of Thanksgiving, let me share a little family story: When I was a youngster, we were into games. Some favorites in the future-quizmaster household: Boggle (better than Scrabble, IMO), Sorry! (ceases to be fun past the age of 12), Clue (often inconvenient, since it needs at least three players), rummy cube (classic), the Hawaiian Punch game (honorable mention). We had a big closet of 'em, one of the joys of living in a large suburban house.

So in 1984, when American culture went through a brief spasm of trivia mania, and Trivial Pursuit became a significant sensation, my parents were quick to jump on the bandwagon. We tried playing as a family, but being well under puberty age, I had a lot of trouble with that dastardly original Genus edition. I somehow had a fighting chance with the blue questions—the Geography category, I was big into maps—but otherwise, it was a bloodbath (figuratively speaking; we weren't like that). Papa Quizmaster tended to find something better to do the second he got frustrated; Mama Quizmaster usually claimed victory.

The Pressman toy company (which would later get this song stuck in my head for 20 years) saw an opening and created a kid-oriented, galactic-themed trivia board game, Trivia Adventure. My parents bought it, we tried playing it, and discovered it was the single worst game ever invented by man. The questions came in two levels; Mom and Dad started me on easy, but when I was asked, "Is the Moon made of green cheese or rock?," they bumped me up to the supposedly challenging level. That's where I encountered tidbits like "What liquid are ice cubes made from?" That was it; Papa Quizmaster was so disgusted he brought the game back to Toys "R" Us. Shortly after, Trivial Pursuit issued its Young Players edition, and the appropriately unimaginatively named Trivia Adventure faded from memory.
Until last month. Walking through a street fair on the UWS, I encountered a battered copy of Trivia Adventure on a blanket, for sale. Nostalgia was stirred; I picked it up and examined it. The woman attending the booth said she'd give it to me for $3. It now sits in my living room.

Sucks, blows chunks, bites the big dick of hell: However you want to say it, this is a horrible trivia game. It's not just the stunning simplicity of a question like "What fruit is used in apple pie?" It's that far too many of these questions are too vague to really work, especially for children: "What do some women wear on their earlobes?" (sexist to boot). "What is the state of Florida most famous for?" (I'd say alligators or old people or election controversy, but they were looking for oranges). "What planet has many rings around it?" (perpetuating a common misconception). Pity the genius child who correctly says "Uranus" for the last question.
Another problem: the inconsistency. The easy "A" level includes both questions like the ice-cube one and "What movie featured apes as rulers and humans as slaves?" Or, amazingly, "Who attempted to run across Canada on one leg to raise money for cancer research?" (which, under other language, has been asked before at the Big Quiz Thing). This is an actual example of a complete question card:

"A" (easy) level
What is the name of French currency?
How many dots does the symbol for the word "therefore" have?
"B" (challenging) level
What are the Academy Awards give for?
Who led the German Nazi war effort in World War II?

Insane. I mean, not that the average five-year-old would find the "B" level a piece of cake, but the "A" levels seem flat-out impossible for any child who isn't a math prodigy living in Provence.

I have not played this game since (re)purchasing it, and most likely never will; I have far more important trivia games to waste my time with, as you are no doubt aware.