January 31, 2011

Tonight's Not-So-Secret Secret Clue

Oh, you so love it. Tonight the BQT returns to Drom, in the East Village, with five more rounds of trivial excitement, including one very special question for which you can utilize this very special clue…

"Higher"

Chew on that, why don't you. 7:30pm, 85 Avenue A (between 5th and 6th). Party on.

January 22, 2011

Politics and other icks



Fellow political-trivia junkies, take heed. Two biggish events on the horizon:

—This Tuesday night, January 25, our President, Mr. Barry Dunham, will deliver his Constitutionally mandated State of the Union address to Congress, at 9pm. I plan to be there, and by there I mean sitting on my couch, live-tweeting whichever political trivia tidbits pass through my mental transom. My initial idea was to tweet the name of every member of the U.S. Senate as I recognized them in the chamber, but I don't want to scare everyone away. Follow your quizmaster on Twitter and react/respond at will.

—After the next Big Quiz Thing, January 31 back at Drom, we're off for three weeks in NYC, returning on February 21 to our old stamping grounds of Crash Mansion. That's Presidents' Day, and we'll be whipping out a long-overdue all–Chief Executive quiz, "The Hail to the Trivial All-Presidential Quiz Spectacular." Rest assured, there will be Vice-Presidential material as well, so study up on this guy:

January 17, 2011

Recap: A whole bunch of Smart-Asses

Hoo boy, what a show. Thirty teams filled the chichi halls of (Le) Poisson Rouge for a most excellent Big Quiz Thing this evening. I was particularly impressed with the plethora of Smart-Ass Points tonight, the oh-so-wrong but oh-so-funny answers. Examples:

Q: When it closed in 1987, this Broadway musical was titled Drood, but when it opened in 1985, it was called what?

A: Drood, Where's My Car?

Q: According to a typographically inclined article on Slate last week, you should never, ever put two BLANKs after a BLANK.
A: LOLs after an OMG

Q: In the book 1984, the Party’s slogans are War Is Peace, Freedom Is Slavery, and BLANK Is BLANK.
A: Rhythm Is a Dancer

Ha-ha, hee-hee. EDP, Claudia and I were really hustling up there, because we had a strict 9pm curfew to make room for the next show at LPR, and with 30 teams…as I said, hoo-boy. But I think we kept things under control, through the hyperlocal video round "NYC, Up Close and Personal"—I'm a little disturbed that nearly all of you recognized the brass balls of the Wall Street bull statue—and the "Questions & Answers" audio round. (Why all the moans when I announced the gimmick? What, you don't like "Do You Wanna Touch Me?" followed by "I Touch Myself"?)

And the buzzerlicious finale: In honor of Martin Luther King Day, we focused on a different kind of kings, the British monarchy. Returning champs Jefferson Davis Starship vs. perennial champs Fantastic Fournicators vs. Rachel Kramer Bussel in Your Hedgerow (a conglomeration of several regular quizzers, including sometime–Gerard Depardoucher RKB herself and members of Team! The Musical). It was quick and clean (9pm was approaching), and Matt of the Fournicators clinched it by knowing that two—no more, no less—of Henry VIII's wives had their heads chopped off. Yay!

Sorry, no time for a winning-team photo. Instead, enjoy this again:
The standings:

1. The Fantastic Fournicators: The winningest team in BQT history. (Nerds! Nerds! Nerds!…)
2. Jefferson Davis Starship
3. Rachel Kramer Bussel in Your Hedgerow
4. Birds of Ill Omen/Gerard Depardouche (tie): Damn, we had a lot of ties tonight…
6. Sugah Titz
7. Strippers for Stephen Hawking/Houston George Bush Incontinental Airport (tie)
9. Fat at Last, Fat at Last/Oh Noah, You Didn't (tie)

NEXT: We're returning to Drom—the much smaller Drom, so, uh, a lot of you better not come back—in two weeks, on January 31. Then we're off three weeks, and we return to Crash Mansion, on February 21—Presidents' Day—for a very special Hail to the Trivial Presidential Quiz Spectacular. More about that in this space anon.

January 16, 2011

Tonight's NOT-SO-SECRET SECRET CLUE

Trying something a little different this time: It's a visual Not-So-Secret Secret Clue. Your chance to use those eyes you've been keeping around just for the hell of it. Gaze upon the following…

What do these people have in common?

It's not a ten fingers and a spleen, I'll tell you that. Figure it out and bring that realization with you to tonight's Big Quiz Thing, back at (Le) Poisson Rouge, at the special time of 7pm! Oh, it so is on.

January 12, 2011

January 29: You become a movie star!

The Big Quiz Thing has long been your way to simulate the experience of being a real live game-show contestant, so now it's time to take the next step: to simulate the experience of being a real live movie star. (Emphasis on simulate, but still.)

Saturday night, January 29, I'm going to be back at 92YTribeca (site of our Summer Fun Spectacular), hosting the lovely venue's very first edition of Movieoke. Perhaps you've partaken in the past (it used to be a regular curiosity in NYC, but I haven't seen it in a while): You bring a DVD, pick a scene, we'll slap on the subtitles, turn off the sound, and let you act out the scene in your own special way. Just like karaoke, no real talent is required, though enthusiasm is much, much appreciated.

We'll have prizes, some trivia (naturally), and perhaps semi-celebrity guests as well. The first edition will definitely be an experiment, but if this really cooks, it's got a good chance of being a monthly gig for yours truly. Saturday night, January 29, sign-up begins at 10:15, more details here.

And in case you're curious, I think I myself will tackle this…


January 11, 2011

Recap: The eternal struggle continues

I'd been hyping the Big Quiz Thing's run at Oberon in Boston—five shows in the past year—as a mighty battle between two indomitable squads of trivia titans: the "Quips" team (variously known as Quips Ahoy, Goodbye Mr. Quips and, last night, Quiptonite), and the INSERT CELEBRITY NAME HERE Kicks Ass (this episode, it was the recently deceased Anne Francis). But looking at the evidence, here's the actual tally from the five total BQT-Oberon events thus far:

Quips: 3
Kicks Ass: 1
A team called Up in Your Grill, which won the first time and I don't think has returned since, and made me feel like a sucker for designing the graphic below to hail their return (though please correct me if I'm wrong about any of this): 1
Interesting. Blank Kicks Ass has made it into the Three-Way Finale each time, sure, but Quips has stayed a step ahead of them the past three times consecutively. The battle rages on, though I'm just grateful that they both keep coming back again and again. Loyalty is the lifeblood of live trivia.

But whether you were fighting for the top slot or not, much fun was had by all last night, as the BQT stormed into 2011. In the video round, we visited the Museum of Painting Mash-Ups…
We had an audio-round session of Questions and Answers (don't want to give anything away, since I plan on unleashing this gimmick upon NYC next week). And lots of Smart-Ass Points: I was a particular fan of this answer to "Ten years ago, what DC Comics supervillain became President of the United States?": George W. Bush.

And then the Three-Way Finale, on the topic of People Who Died 2010: As expected, it was Quiptonite vs. Anne Francis Kicks Ass vs.…Pony No Bueno, a team consisting of staff from the recently minted Time Out Boston. (Intriguingly, we also had a squad last night representing The Weekly Dig, calling itself Captain Bart, and reaching a respectable sixth place. I guess The Improper Bostonian is too chicken.) It was a quick and dirty Three-Way, with Quiptonite taking it with this delightful query: "Complete this awesome joke from Police Squad, starring Leslie Nielsen. The villain says, 'Who are you and how did you get in here?' Lt. Frank Drebin says, “I’m the locksmith…'" Watch for yourself:
Your winners, again…
Thanks to the Oberon staff, playing as Show Us Your Tips, who didn't manage to repeat their impressive third-place showing from November, but they remain the most accomplished of the various staff teams from BQT venues. (I'm not sure this is something they should brag about, though, considering they're supposed to be, you know, working.) But thank you for tipping them kindly regardless. And another extra-special shout-out to our delicious sponsor B.Good, which I like to describe as McDonald's for the non-masochistic.
And thank you for being there. We're coming back ever so soon: Just four weeks from now, Monday, February 7. Tell your friends, tell your enemies: I know you want to keep the BQT as your own little secret and not have the theater crawling with people who might be smarter than you, but we want to do this in Boston more in 2011, and the more people who attend, the easier that'll be to arrange. Grazie.

January 9, 2011

Rep. Giffords, from my perspective

Friends-

This has been an interesting and upsetting weekend. Here's some trivia: Gabrielle Giffords is the only current member of Congress whom I've met and spoken with personally (unless you count the time I shook Frank Lautenberg's hand when I was ten). I'm sure she wouldn't remember me, but a very good friend of mine was her campaign manager in 2006 and 2010; he was not in Tucson yesterday but is en route there now. I've followed her career for five years, have given her money, and have been very impressed with her. She's on an extremely short list of congress members whom I'd call myself a fan of.

So naturally, Rep. Giffords has been on my mind. And as always, trivia is on my mind; that's just who I am. On my Twitter feed yesterday, I posted a couple of factoids about the congresswoman (or, more accurately, about those around her):

—Her husband, Captain Mark Kelly, and his twin brother are the only sibling pair to both have traveled into space.

Jim Kolbe, the man who Giffords replaced in Congress in 2007, is one of only two openly gay Republican congressmen in history.

I was afraid at first that tweeting these would seem insensitive—now's not the time for trivia—but I don't think so (though I did lose two Twitter followers at some point yesterday). I'm being apolitical here, and naturally my primary concern is the welfare of the congresswoman and the other victims. I just found these facts interesting is all, and figured others would as well.

And then there's this: I couldn't help but wonder yesterday how often members of U.S. Congress have been targeted by assassins, and Salon answered the call. Read this account of members of Congress who have been killed while in office; thankfully, there are only five names on the list. All three of the 20th-century examples are well known to me; the stories of Huey Long and Robert Kennedy have been told a million times, but I'm particularly intrigued by what happened to Leo Ryan. If you'd like to know more about that incident, I highly recommend the documentary Jonestown: The Life and Death of Peoples Temple, a fascinating and horrible American story.

But I wish Salon had mentioned how many congress members have been attacked and managed to survive. At least for now, that's the category Rep. Giffords belongs in, and I sincerely hope she remains there.

January 7, 2011

Cover songs: The realization


I tweeted this the other day, but allow me to elaborate: Hooray to Buzzfeed for this very cool post, "15 Songs You Didn't Realize Were Covers." I'm proud to report I realized for 11 of them. In fact…

— In 1998, when "Torn" briefly fooled people into thinking Natalie Imbruglia was someone worth paying attention to, I actually saw Ednaswap in concert (at the still-extant Mercury Lounge). I was bored out of my gourd, although their version of "Torn" (much more spare and slower) was better, and they did a fun cover of the Police's "Next to You." Also, I took home a free pair of Ednaswap wrap-around shades. Rock & roll.

—I find it scandalous that anyone wouldn't know that Otis Redding wrote and originated "Respect," since his version is far and away superior to Aretha's which—brace yourselves—I think is pretty crappy. Just sayin'. I'd rather go with this Aretha…



Meanwhile, who the hell didn't know that Tiffany covered Tommy James and the Shondells? When Tiffany was all over the charts, the radio hate fest continually bemoaned what she had done to the excellent original (perhaps because around the same time, Billy Idol was messing around with TJ's "Mony Mony"). Anyway, for years, the grammarian side of me rankled at the chorus—"holding on to one another's hand"—but it turns out the "'each other' for two things/'one another' for three things" rule has fallen into disfavor among most authorities. So the song is Strunk and White approved.

—I'm sure plenty of people didn't realize that They Might Be Giants' "Istanbul" was a cover, but I'd wager none of those people particularly care. If there's one thing you can say about TMBG, it's that their fans are absurdly well informed. Another great TMBG song that was a cover: "New York City":



The original, by a Canadian band called Cub:



— I recently solicited on my Facebook wall, "Name a great song by a crappy band," and more than one person pegged "Cum on Feel the Noize" by Quiet Riot, which I thought was a valid and interesting choice (I myself offered "Ain't That Unusual" by the Goo Goo Dolls and "Interstate Love Song" by Suck Temple…sorry, that's Stone Temple Pilots). I'm not sure I'd say that Quiet Riot's is better than Slade's original, but it's certainly more friendly to my and most other Americans' ears; Slade was one of those acts that was beyond huge in the U.K. (among the best-selling acts of the '70s, I believe), but couldn't even approach that level of success in the U.S., like Gary Numan and my beloved Jam. There was just something perversely British about them that Quiet Riot managed to overcome with their boneheaded middle-America dirtbagness. However, Slade eventually did score an American hit, in 1984. When's the last time you heard this?



— Oh, boy, "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun"—I love Cyndi Lauper's version, had heard tell of the original by Robert Hazard (best known for this awful, wacky tune) many moons ago, but never heard it till just now. And man, this is some crazy shit. I can't tell if I love it, or if repeated listenings are driving me insane (apparently, this is a barely-released demo). Cyndi definitely kicked it into shape and improved it, not least because she turned it into a perfect '80s feminist anthem. "All of my girls are gonna walk in the sun" becomes "I wanna be the one to walk in the sun": You betcha.

—Never underestimate the power of a good interpreter: It's kind of surprising how many of these instances involve a far superior cover version: "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun," "Mickey" (the original, "Kitty," was the subject of a BQT question last year), "Hanging on the Telephone"—God, I love Blondie, and while their original "HOTT" is a little lacking, I also love the Nerves. Try this slice of genius:




—Which four did I not realize were covers? "Mambo No. 5" (not surprising in hindsight), "Don't Turn Around," "Gloria," and "The Crying Game." In other words, the ones that classic-rock/new-wave junkie Noah really doesn't care about. Oh, I do so love music!

— Finally, I'm going to add another entry: "Queen of Hearts," made famous by Juice Newton, originated by Wales's greatest rocker, Dave Edmunds (can't find an embed, though here it is), The versions are eerily similar, both are great…





January 5, 2011

Martin Van Buren, avenged

Thanks to a tip from Mike Wolf, former pinch-hitting BQT DJ, I have discovered this: American Talleyrand. Yes, indeed, because you demanded it: a blog about the Little Magician himself, the eighth President of these United States…Martin Van Buren.

Despite my presidential polymathness, I don't know a tremendous amount about MVB, at least not compared with what I know of other chief executives (test me on Polk—go ahead, test me). He's hardly considered to be first-tier in terms of historical import, though I'm aware that he was an intensely political animal (the "Little Magician" nickname referred to his skills as a behind-the-scenes campaign force), and I'm sure an expert could plausibly argue that he established much of our nation's democratic machinery. As with many Presidents, he's one of those characters I've always intended to learn more about, to discover what lies beyond the sideburns.

So American Talleyrand to the rescue (the blog name—and the blog itself—is explained here). I've only spent a few minutes grazing in these Van Buren fields, but this blogger clearly knows his stuff, and has a real facility for bringing New York State's first President to life. For example, I enjoyed this post about Steven Spielberg's Amistad, perhaps the sole appearance of Van Buren in a film.
That's Brit Nigel Hawthorne, playing Van Buren as the dim and vain caricature that the anti-Jacksonians liked to characterize him as. I knew that the scenes of him shaking hands and kissing babies was a Hollywood anachronism, but I've now been convinced that the historical problems with the film run much deeper. Oh, Steven…

So I look forward to reading and learning more about him; a quick glance tells me that A-Tall has covered all the major MVB topics (though how about something on Van's Vice President, Richard Mentor Johnson, one of our nation's many fascinating forgotten seconds-in-command?). When I've exhausted this, I'll seek out that Chester Arthur blog I've been hankering for.

As for trivia, a quick search through my archives reveals that Martin Van Buren hasn't exactly been the most frequent quiz topic (most of the questions hinge on info I allude to above), but I do have this Presidential Limerick in the hopper…

Van Buren: There’s not much to say
Of his effect on the ’Merican way.
Though he wasn’t so cheery,
The best linguists’ theory
Is that he gave us the saying “_________.

(However, American Talleyrand argues that Van only popularized the saying. Ah, nuts!)

January 3, 2011

Recap: We have not fallen. We are capable of standing.



I love that picture.

It's a still from this advertisement, for a product called Life Call (not "Life Alert," though there is an item by that name which has produced similar ads), seen in the Classic Commercial Quiz at tonight's Big Quiz Thing. And it prompted the crowd did a nice chant-along to "I've fallen…and I can't get up!" It's that kind of magical moment that makes the Big Quiz Thing so special.

And special it was, the first BQT of 2011, in a new venue, Drom. The place was great—a touch small, but warm and beautiful, and we'll be back on January 31 and hopefully beyond. (But please, drink and eat! We need to really make it worth their while.) Tonight we also debuted a slightly new format, with EDP in the DJ booth and the fantastic Claudia Cogan sidekicking (star of 50 First Jokes, this Wednesday at 92YTribeca), and we're still finding our swing. Plus we instituted the new prize regime, with $300 in cash, including $25 for tenth place. It is so not always about winning…

But it was a fine show nonetheless, thanks to you, an excellent crowd. We tested your geographic skills (yes, you can make it from Michigan to Iowa simply by passing through Wisconsin), your math acumen (545—the difference in hours between the titles of Danny Boyle's two temporally titled movies), and your knowledge of the social lives of our politicians (this is the first time ever that both the mayor of NYC and the governor of NYS are divorced). Though I totally underestimated how easily you smart, smart people would puzzle out the antonym for "patriot" that you get when you replace the "p" with a different consonant and mix up the letters. Bra-vo.

Weird coincidences abounded tonight: A question about Pee-wee Herman, with a team containing people who actually worked on Pee-wee's Broadway show; a query concerning Adam Smith, on the very night former BQT regulars Adam Smith's Invisible Handjob made their return. I'm in tune with the stars.

And of course, the Three-Way Finale. Gerard Depardouche vs. Jefferson Davis Starship vs. Birds of Ill Omen (first time in the finale), on the topic of people who died in 2010. Steven of the Douche opened strong, knowing which dead-in-'10 person was once played in a movie by Tom Hanks…
…then Anthony of JDS scored with the name of Gary Coleman's Diff'rent Strokes castmate who also died last year…

…but Anthony followed up with victory, naming the movie that Joely Fisher (daughter of Eddie, who died last year) saw when she was ten, and made her realize she had a sister:
And thus, your winners.
The standings:

1. Jefferson Davis Starship
2. Gerard Depardouche
3. Birds of Ill Omen
4. The Fantastic Fournicators
5. Strippers for Stephen Hawking/Sugah Titz (tie)
7. Cash Cab 4 Cutie
8. Oh Noah You Didn't 2011
9. Fat Kids Put the XXX in XXXL
10. Incontinental Drifters ($25!)

In two weeks, we're back at (Le) Poisson Rouge, at a special time: 7pm. Then, on January 31, it's more fun at Drom. Beyond that, we'll let you know when we know, you know?

Tonight's NOT-SO-SECRET SECRET CLUE

But of course. Use this clue at tonight's Big Quiz Thing, at Drom in the East Village…

How many days will it be since Christmas?

Use it when I give the word. And remember: Starting tonight, we're doing $300 in cash prizes (and, alas, a $10 cover). Be there with bells on.

January 2, 2011

A (mostly) uninformed listening of the top 50 singles of 2010: 1–10

And we come to the end. I was quite able to finish this before 2011, but January 2: Close enough. To recap: I realized that I was familiar with almost none of the top hit songs of 2010, so I decided to listen to every entry on Rolling Stone's list of the top 50 singles of the year and review them here. After covering 41–50, 31–40, 21–30 and 11–20, it ends here: the top ten. Enjoy.

10. "Monster" -- Kanye West feat. Jay-Z, Rick Ross, Nicki Minaj and Bon Iver



Well, this is educational: Most of the year’s buzziest musicians, together in one song. Now that I’ve made it through the first 40 entries on the list, I’ve developed more formed opinions of the players here: Kanye is interestingly innovative, Rick Ross relies on the same old crass rap clichés, Nicki Minaj doth protest too much. Jay-Z I was already familiar with, and not really interested in, and…wait, isn’t Bon Iver some kind of indie-folk bearded dude?

There’s not a lot here for me: “Monster” beats you over the head with the same rhythm again and again, failing to show much of what makes Kanye special. But I am warming up to Minaj a little; her verses show way more playfulness and personality than I got from her own songs, as she flips through a cavalcade of characters, going some way to justify the hype. Bon Iver, meanwhile, floats in from out of nowhere, not nearly as incongruous a presence as you’d expect, but his verses are the opposite of exciting. This song is pretty weird, but not interestingly so.

9. “The Ghost Inside” – Broken Bells



I was aware of Broken Bells as one of the many rock-rap hybrid projects staking a claim on the musical landscape—producer Danger Mouse (I found The Gray Album clever but annoying) and James Mercer, from the good-but-overrated rock band the Shins. And here we are.

This song is dreadfully boring. Absolutely nothing of any interest happens here: It’s pretty, I suppose, and Mercer has a great voice, but by the time it appears near the end of the song, you’ve been rendered completely somnambulant by a deadeningly repetitive melody and falsetto whining (or is that Mercer doing the falsetto? Can’t tell). Rolling Stone describes the song as “noirish,” but they’re forgetting that good film noir is exciting.

This leads me to a general point about much “rock” music these days: It doesn’t rock. It fails to excite or get the blood racing; it doesn’t even seem to try. There’s talent here, sure, and musical creativity, but there’s also a complete abdication of rock’s noble calling to fire up the emotions. Too many songs on this list fall into this category, which makes me wonder what musical genre they’re supposed to belong to.

8. “Tightrope” – Janelle Monae ft. Big Boi



From what I gather, Janelle Monae is a one-of-a-kind musical character, and this song shows a hell of a lot of sass, personality, and talent. But the song—a not unpleasant stew of classic soul sound and glitchy rhythms—fails her. It’s yet another good idea that doesn’t manage to live up to its ambitions (though Big Boi’s contribution is spot-on and fits in perfectly). I think critics praise it because they know they’re supposed to, but I doubt too many of them listening to it voluntarily more than, say, three times.

7. “White Sky” – Vampire Weekend



Again, I’m supposedly a fan of Vampire Weekend (their first album grabbed me back in ’08 and refused to let go for a couple of months), but I had only the vaguest memory of having heard this song when the new VW album, Contra, came out last January. And it’s…pretty forgettable. That trademark unique indie-rock/Afropop mélange that Vampire Weekend does so well is in full effect, but they only manage to feint and parry at the edges of the song, never building it beyond the its basis as just a good idea. An example of a band buying its own hype on its second album and failing to put in the requisite effort? What do I know, I don’t even listen to albums by my favorite bands.

6. “You Are Not Alone” – Mavis Staples



Another R&B survivor, coming back with an inspirational hymn, written by Jeff Tweedy of the criminally overhyped Wilco. This is a pleasant song with a warmhearted message, but Staples—71 years old and best known for this best known from this—doesn’t have the voice she once did.

5. “We Used to Wait” – Arcade Fire



A personal note about last year: I had a blind date over the summer with a woman who was an ardent geek for Arcade Fire, talking eagerly about their upcoming concert in town. I tend to be foolishly honest when meeting new people, so when she asked me what I thought of the band, I had to work hard to not tell her how I found the band to be a huge waste of rock & roll potential (such a refreshingly majestic sound, such boring, boring songs). I think I did all right—I got a second date, though not a third—but listening to this song again reminds me that we were probably doomed from the start. I want to like Arcade Fire, I really do (if only to be a proud former Montrealer), and this song is not bad by any stretch of the imagination. But how many times do I have to say it—a good idea does not make a good song. This track just refuses to go anywhere.

4. “Teenage Dream” – Katy Perry



Please…make the ear-bleeding stop! Seriously, how can any adult really think this is a good song? I don’t care what the pedigree is of the studio wizards twiddling the knobs here, Katy Perry isn’t just untalented, she pretty much sucks the talent out of a room. Completely bubbleheaded lyrics and amateurish delivery and…and…and…arrrggh! This song makes me want to commit genocide.

3. “Soldier of Love” – Sade



Wow. Just last night, I was looking at the list of past winners of the Grammy for Best New Artist, marveling how few still have careers, and not including Sade on that list (it ranges from the Beatles to Milli Vanilli). But what do you know, the 1986 winner came back strong this year. The martial beat is a little predictable, but this woman’s deep croon is still beautiful and sexy, and the electro-lined backing adds a great texture below the melody. Too bad it grows boring after a couple minutes.

2. “Fuck You” – Cee Lo Green



Here it is, the single song in the top 50 that I actually purchased this year. I found the initial hype for this song suffocating, refusing to believe that anyone would care if the title weren’t something as bluntly provocative as “Fuck You,” but then I gave it a listen. I like this song a lot: The perfect mix of throwback soul fetishization and newfangled polish, with some nifty lyrical metaphors (“I guess he’s an Xbox, and I’m more Atari”). It’s not one of the great songs of the ages—the title really does come off as a gimmick—but it’s a whole lot of fun, topped off by a jubilant vocal performance by Cee Lo, clearly a consummate performer. It’s even earned a place on the latest entry in my epic mix-CD series, Track 3 on volume 60, between Black Flag’s “Rise Above” and Tom Petty’s “Down South” (believe it).

1. “Runaway” – Kanye West ft. Pusha T.



Aw. I was hoping it was a cover of Del Shannon (or Bon Jovi). Oh, Kanye—you are our beacon; where you go, our culture will follow. This weird, spooky song gets under your skin, with its repetitively genius piano figure (I’m also partial to any song whose first word is “and”). One demerit for hanging its chorus on the obnoxiously clichéd term “douche bags,” but otherwise, this is a respectable choice for the best song in a year of mediocre music.

So I am now fully educated in the year in music. Well then. I’m not sure what to make of this—I really didn’t like most of these songs, and very, very few of them would I consider actually purchasing. Even something like Robyn’s “Dancing on My Own,” which I really enjoyed, isn’t commanding me to spin it again and again, like any of my 10,000 favorite songs can do with bewitching effectiveness. I entered this endeavor with an open mind, but the project pretty much confirmed my opinion that modern pop music just doesn’t speak to me anymore. My tastes have aged out of relevance, and I need to make my peace with that. I suppose that’s not so bad; there’s always another 1960s garage-rock band to discover.

By the way, my personal pick for song of the year—nowhere to be found on this list—is embedded below. I can’t be completely over the hill if something like this still gets my heart racing: