January 12, 2010

Kids, as a business entity

Remember this?

Wow, that is just unbelievably cheesy. Pretty much the most '80s thing you can imagine, apart from Tron or a pack of Pac-Man scratch-off cards. I was reminded of Kids Incorporated recently when I was searching Songza for Foreigner songs (seriously), and I was confronted by a Kids Inc. version rather than the magic of Lou Gramm. For the uninformed: Kids Incorporated was essentially a sitcom about a teenage band in Fort Greene, Brooklyn; intermittent musical numbers featured the colorfully wholesome, leg-warmered and MJ-jacketed band rocking out to mostly contemporary hit songs. K! I! D! S!

This show is perhaps best remembered today as the teenage proving ground for several current celebrities of various import. Fergie--Stacy Ferguson, at the time--was in fact the longest-serving cast member. Here, she does an extremely unconvincing impression of both Elvis Presley and a prison inmate:

(And no, this rendition will not be included in the next BQT audio round, "Maximum Elvis.")

Perhaps the second most celebrated KI alum is Jennifer Love Hewitt, who was merely "Love Hewitt" in those days (cool!). Here, she majorly fucks with my psyche by covering the theme song of my age-13 black-wearing depression phase, Peter Gabriel's "Don't Give Up":

There are a few other honored alumni, People magazine minor-leaguers, not worth discussing here (try Wikipedia if you're curious). These clips are kind of embarrassing, but I find it hard to hate on KI. Those kids are giving a couple thousand percent out there, and the performances have a kind of guileless charm that's easy to admire, if not to tolerate. True, it viciously sands down any and all edges of the source material, but Kids Incorporated was merely one of many, many culprits in that regard in the 1980s. Besides, you cannot tell me that the music is any less insipid than most of American Idol (and it doesn't have the overpowering, rancid stink of desperation).
Also, if I am to be honest, a few of my prepubescent fantasies were about actually being on the show myself. My mom and dad were a couple million miles away from showbiz parents, but as the dork who sang along to American Top 40, I dreamed about doing so on TV, for the supposed admiration of millions of fellow kids. In hindsight, I would've been a better fit for You Can't Do That on Television, since I was a smart-ass who couldn't dance and wasn't cute. But I can thank Kids Incorporated for my current love of karaoke. And yes, that is worth offering thanks for.


Vitamin Steve said...

My favorite: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wPKdTkbSwp4

It's Limahl's "The Neverending Story" as interpreted by the cool kid from The Monster Squad, followed by Cyndi Lauper's "Goonies R Good Enough" by one-hit wonder, Martika.

Vitamin Steve said...

Oh, and it also has Mario Lopez pretending to play the drums.

Serena said...

thanks for the memories! I loved that show... see you soon!

Anonymous said...

uggs for sale
mcm bags
uggs on sale
ugg boots on sale
cheap ugg boots for sale
cheap christian louboutin
uggs clearance
uggs outlet
cheap ugg boots
nike shox
north face outlet
cheap ugg boots uk
patagonia outlet
ugg boots sale
woolrich jackets
marc jacobs outlet
roshe run
christian louboutin shoes
uggs on sale
cheap uggs
ugg boots sale uk
ugg sale
nike high heels
ugg uk
kd 6
ugg outlet
new balance shoes
cheap ugg boots
ugg boots clearance sale
ugg sale
ugg sale
canada goose black friday
canada goose sale

Anonymous said...

ray ban outlet
burberry bags
cheap basketball shoes
jimmy choo shoes
miu miu handbags
hollister outlet
nike air max pas cher
Yves Saint Laurent outlet
cheap oakleys
chi hair straighteners
longchamp outlet
prada outlet
ray ban sunglasses
mulberry sale
burberry outlet store
cheap gucci bags
michael kors bags
moncler jackets
cheap ray bans
nike air max
mbt shoes
mulberry bags
christian louboutin sale
cheap christian louboutin
burberry handbags
dansko outlet
ralph lauren outlet
longchamp outlet
mulberry bags
nike roshe run
ray ban sunglasses
roshe run
furla outlet
cheap ray ban sunglasses
mcm bag
longchamp outlet store
cheap dr dre beats
nike heels for women
roshe run
michael kors outlet

Unknown said...

pandora uk
nfl jerseys wholesale
fitflops sandals
air max 90
adidas nmd runner
coach outlet store online
ray ban sunglasses cheap
celine handbags
ralph lauren outlet online
louis vuitton outlet online