September 29, 2009

Speeling it-out fore yoo

Yo, as they say on the Coney Island Boardwalk. Thanks for attending last night's Big Quiz Thing (or merely reading this blog post, if you did not attend). We were without EDP, the crowd was on the light side (perhaps you're a better Jew than I), and Fantastic Fourincators won…a-gain! Such is life in the business we call show.

First, the particulars: We brought back the "Proofread-O-Rama" (click here for the first edition), a video round near and dear to my grammar junkie heart. Now you know all about the conditional mood; sad that it's too late to rub William Safire's face in it.

As for the audio round, "Jazz for Dummies," you all clearly are not dummies (or perhaps you are, since you did so well). Hurray to the two teams guessing DJ Jazzy Jeff.

Now, the standings. Yes, the Fantastic Fourincators won yet again, so let's see what we can do about this. Perhaps I might hobble them. Some options:

-- I make them all play wearing blindfolds, with dispensation for one member designated the team secretary. Would this impact their trivia ability? Perhaps not, but it might be amusing.

-- I impose upon them, and them only, an eight-drink minimum.

-- I dock them a tenth of a point for their first wrong answer. Then a two tenths for the next wrong answer. Then three tenths, etc. This will give me a math headache.

-- I spend much of my spare time investigating their private lives and personal interests. Then, I craft the questions to veer decisively away their expertise. The advantage of this is that we all learn a little about these mysterious blackguards: Which Fournicator has an extra finger on his left hand? Is it true that another member once interned for Diane Von Furstenburg? Who's sleeping with whom? The possibilities are endless.

I like the blindfold idea. Perhaps. Your thoughts?


1. Fantastic Fournicators
2. Strippers for Stephen Hawking
3. Gerard Depardouche
4. Squirrels on Film
5. Jefferson Davis Starship/Sugah Titz (tie)

Join us again, friends, on October 12. "The Movie Quote Thesaurus" and the long-awaited Wizard of Oz audio round. My chest hair is tingling with excitement.


Tom Degan said...

First Bill Buckley now Bill Safire. Two of the few remaining intelligent conservatives within the space of so short at time. The voices of reason within the conservative movement are dwindling by the day.

Meanwhile the movement that the two men were so identified with - the movement they both tried to save from the kooks, criminals and fools who have hijacked it - continues to implode.

Isn't life wonderful?

Tom Degan

Anonymous said...

If you really want to hobble them, you'll make them put away their iPhones during the audio round.

BlueDuck said...

Hi all,

This is Jeremy... aka, the Fantastic Fournicators' token gay.

I just want to state for the record that I resent the accusation that we use iPhones during the audio round. If you, Mr. Anonymous (so brave!) would like to join us for the audio round and sit on my lap, I would be happy to prove to you that we are not cheating, and are simply huge nerds. Besides, we sit RIGHT UP FRONT. Literally, we are usually the team most directly in Noah and EDP's eyesight. And you think we cheat?

Take a look at some of the teams that congregate all the way in the back. If cheating occurs, that's where it would be.

Also, I want to note that we have barely won at all this year, and many other fine teams have dominated over us, particularly in the Spring and Summer.

With that said, we simply come for the fun and don't wish to cause a fuss. But the cheating accusation I needed to confront.

PS- If Noah wishes to hobble us, he should use a cane. Easiest way to do it.

The Big Quiz Thing said...

I, for one, have noticed no cheating on the part of the Fantastic Fournicators. They're just nerds, that's all, and we love them for it.

Anonymous said...

Let's face it, the real problem with the Fournicators is not the nerd smarts, it's that they're so damn good-looking. The rest of us get distracted by their devastating sex appeal and forget the answers.

Anonymous said...

Personally, I feel like less of a man when they are in the same room as me.

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