August 29, 2008

Crypto-critterin'

At last Monday's quiz, I discussed the biggest news of the past few weeks: They found Bigfoot. Yeah, yeah, sure, that article and every other one revealed that it was a hoax, but I am a true believer. Nothing will sway me from believing that this:Is the real thing. I mean, seriously, does it look any more fake than this? So I asked a four-part question, challenging players to name the cryptozoological entity I was describing. Some were puzzled. Here, explanations…

"a. Legendary winged horselike monster of the New Jersey Pine Barrens."

The answer is The Jersey Devil.I remember in fourth grade (in NJ, of course), I had to write a report about this thing. That's a quality education. Shortly thereafter, I convinced myself that I spotted the Devil on the side of the highway while driving home from a WWF event at the Meadowlands. Life was boring.

"b. The Loch Ness Monster’s New England cousin, inhabiting Lake Champlain on the New York/Canada border"

That's Champ (or "Champy").
I recently read a very good book that made an incredibly convincing argument that lake monsters do not exist, debunking the above photo in the process. God damn, I used to worship the Loch Ness Monster, dreamed (literally) of traveling to Scotland and glimpsing it for myself. The child in me has died. Or perhaps it was always a myth.

"c. Flying supernatural humanoid with glowing eyes, inspiration for a crappy 2002 movie starring Richard Gere."

This one's Mothman.
I have no fucking clue what to make of the Mothman story, other than further evidence for my profound belief that the world is completely insane, and there's some shit we will never, ever, ever fully understand. But the most notable aspect of the Mothman saga, for me, is that I always used to think it would make a great movie. I was wrong about the great part.

"d. Bigfoot variant spotted in the Southeast U.S., said to smell really bad and controversially photographed in the year 2000."

We got a lot of interesting wrong guesses on this one, but the proper term is The Skunk Ape.
I was disappointed that Team! The Musical was not present at the quiz, since one of its lead members, Marie Mundaca, is a huge Skunk Ape fan. (She's even got the early EPs.) As for what that's a photograph of… I don't know. It doesn't look like an orangutan to me, but it's been some time since I intimately studied primates.

You know what? I'm just going to go ahead and say that's an actual Skunk Ape. I believe in its existence, I believe in Champ, I believe in Bigfoot, there are dinosaurs in the Congo—I BELIEVE! I mean, really—why not? Who suffers because I accept the veracity of crap? It's good for some entertainment, and besides, more powerful people have believed worse.

Next time: Who was Jack the Ripper? In Search Of… investigates.


7 comments:

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