Four-part question: Rodney Dangerfield! (answers)

a. My psychiatrist told me I’m crazy. I said, “I want a second opinion.” He said, “Okay, you're ugly, too.”

b. With girls I’m never lucky. I had one blind date I waited on the corner for 45 minutes, a girl walks by. I said, “Are you Louise?” She said, “Are you Rodney?” I said, “Yeah.” She said, 'I'm not Louise.'"

c. From the song “Rappin’ Rodney”: Steak and sex, my favorite pair. I have ‘em both the same way, very rare.

d. My wife is dumb I tell ya. Do you wanna know how dumb she is? It takes her an hour and a half to watch 60 Minutes.