November 29, 2010

Leslie Nielsen 1926–2010

I hadn't planned to write much here about Leslie Nielsen, who died on Sunday—if you'd like some especially valuable insight, read what the great Matt Zoller Seitz has written on Salon—but a distracting few minutes on YouTube has forced my hand.

I'm especially fond of Nielsen's work in the great, insane Police Squad.



This show lasted a mere six episodes back in 1982—it was famously canceled because, and I'm paraphrasing here, the viewer had to pay too much attention to get the jokes. Perhaps it was ahead of its time, cursed to exist in a pre-Simpsons, ante–30 Rock world. Regardless, it spawned the Naked Gun film series, whose humor is so mighty as to still make O.J. Simpson likable.

The clip below is worth watching all the way through: It's as clear an example as you can find of why Nielsen had such a wonderful comic touch. No one was better at playing silly straight (no pun intended here…)



Whoever uploaded this clip labeled it the "greatest line in the history of comedy," and they're not too far off:



From the same episode: This clip is such a purely hilarious example of the old comedy technique, "start with the believable, then build to the ridiculous":



There's a lot more for free online, but most of it in large chunks that you're best exploring on your own. Or better yet, pick up the DVD of the complete series, which includes commentary from Robert Wuhl, about how he can barely remember working on the show. I love the '80s.

BQT meets Mental Floss

Sorta-big news: I've started contributing quizzes to Mental Floss magazine, the wittily impressive journal of all things trivial. (Actually, I'm writing for its website, but the magazine proper might be in the offing.) We start with "Shakespeare Character or Pharmaceutical Drug?" Have at it!

November 26, 2010

A trip to a Swiss supermarket

One of my favorite activities when visiting a new and different place is to take a long, leisurely stroll through the local grocer's, to observe and reflect upon the little differences. (Perhaps it's that dash of Tarantino nerdiness in me, though McDonald's is my Antichrist.) As far as this blog is concerned, that was the highlight of my trip to Puerto Rico last year, and it's one of the many diverting experiences of my current visit to Switzerland. (Land of the Switzers, I've been calling it cheekily, but turns out people did use to refer to the Swiss as "Switzers.") Right now I'm in the Alps, in the small town of Wengen, but my base is (and my supermarket visit was) in the city of Basel; both are within the neutral land's German-speaking region; this country is a mishmash of cultures, but somehow they don't seem to let it drive them loony like we Americans do.

So the products: There's the expected, like the slightly altered product names.
I'm sure there's a shade of meaning I'm missing, but I don't know why they've excised "Flakes" from the name here, or went without the German translation ("Flocke").

As for this…
…I'm just guessing that "Bounty" doesn't work in the German language. I always felt it was a weird product name anyway, seeing as how "bounty hunter" comes to mind. Boba Fett, always on the hunt for a strong but absorbent towel to mop up spills. Speaking of which…
The mop comes with a free bag of Legos, an amazingly mercenary example of that time-honored marketing strategy of "Attach something kids like to something adults can't get excited about buying so that the brats will scream and yell for it and the parents will decide they might as well choose your brand just to get the inhuman nagging to stop already."

Here's an interesting one:
"Sonne," of course, is German for "sun," but the translation seems a little superfluous, since "Capri" is essentially meaningless in English, at least in the bag-of-juice context.

This intrigued me:
Winnetou is a fictional Native American who is virtually unknown in the United States, yet is among the most enduring characters of German pop culture. (He first appeared in a series of novels written by a German in the late 19th century.) I first learned about him during my college a cappella days, when I heard this amusing song, which includes him in a pantheon of heroes with Robin Hood and Sherlock Holmes. And what do you know, here he is, selling ice cream.

Here's a bad name from an American perspective:
Honey Bsss—I keep thinking "Honey Bullshit." And this piqued my interest, as a dedicated lover of cheesy snacks:
In English, these Goldfish crackers are declared "The Original." Hmm: Had Pepperidge Farm committed product thievery? Perhaps: A little research revealed that PF founder Margaret Rudkin stumbled upon the crackers in Switzerland in 1960 and soon introduced them to happy ubiquity in the U.S. I can't tell you more than that—I assume that everything was above-board—but damn, I should've bought a bag of these. Maybe tomorrow.

Not really product packaging, but an extremely disturbing ad:
"10% more enjoyable." What's the idea here? That the 10% extra joy has extended his smile to freakish proportions? Or that if you don't buy this, the manufacturer will surgically alter you into the hideous creature you see before you? And how do you quantify a level of enjoyment to the point of "10% more"? This is what you get in a nation of watchmakers.

And I have no idea why anyone would purchase Twix et al. in Switzerland, the country of delicious chocolate. I've run through several brands in the past two days, with rotting teeth and a happy stomach to show for it. Here's the supermarket's wall of chocolaty products:

The reason my nephews are so happy is that they get to live here and eat this stuff morning, noon and night (or will, once they get old enough to buy things with their own money). Einer für alle, alle für einen!

November 24, 2010

Thanksgiving, trivially

Some interesting factoids relating to tomorrow's holiday, Arbor Da…er, Thanksgiving:
— Despite its wholesome, Hallmark-averse connotations, Thanksgiving has long been commercialized up the wazoo. Most notably, the date: The fourth Thursday in November was officially established as Thanksgiving in 1939 by President Franklin Roosevelt, moved up from the traditional final Thursday of the month (though yes, those are often one and the same), just to give retailers more time to sell holiday-season crap. No one would have guessed back then that this would be rendered moot by our current habit of starting the Christmas season the second the back-to-school-sale signs go down. I exaggerate, but we're getting close: I have a crystal clear memory of 1998, getting my very first taste of the Xmas season the day after Thanksgiving, as I suffered through a Jewel holiday song in an elevator. Twelve years later, the turkey hasn't even been served and I've already endured several rounds of "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer."
— Previously, Thanksgiving was widely celebrated but more regional, gaining its first official American imprimatur at the hand of Abraham Lincoln. In October 1863, he issued a "Thanksgiving Proclamation," which is a pretty enjoyable example of olden-days rhetoric. Though note that even this has an air of commercialism to it: Abe foregrounds good ol' American industry, declaring that "needful diversions of wealth and of strength from the fields of peaceful industry to the national defense have not arrested the plow, the shuttle, or the ship; the ax has enlarged the borders of our settlements, and the mines, as well as the iron and coal as of our precious metals, have yielded even more abundantly than heretofore."

— Good old Wikipedia, its quick fact box about Thanksgiving:
They left out "traveling." (And no, you can't edit the page.)

— One of my favorite George Carlin jokes: "Did you ever notice you don't get laid much on Thanksgiving? I think it's because all the coats are on the bed."

— The supposed menu at the first Thanksgiving, 1621: deer, shellfish, cod, bass, various wild fowl (swans, of all things), various vegetables, fruits that you probably wouldn't like very much, squash, and plenty of grains and corn. No sweets, per se, and turkey was probably a minor player. But the meal lasted three days, which makes the five-hour wait at the airport seem a little more bearable in context. (And we here at the BQT know all about non-traditional Thanksgivings…)
— I've never eaten deep-fried turkey, but I'd like to try it, considering my predilection for meat burned to a cinder (I rarely let a woman change me, but one ex has the honor of getting me to transition from medium-well to medium). Deep-fried turkey has grown in popularity throughout the U.S. in recent years, since it cooks fast and we Americans are a lazy breed. And with that, there's been a huge rise in the number of unfortunate turkey-frying accidents—seriously, that damn thing can explode. Tomorrow night, go to Boston Market. Then after dinner tomorrow night, unbutton your pants, light up a jay, and watch these videos of turkey-frying mishaps. Remember: It's funny because you don't know them.

I, for one, am visiting family in Switzerland, eating a lot of really good chocolate and probably not having turkey tomorrow night. I also hate football and can't stomach apple pie, so clearly I represent everything that's wrong in this country. Happy Thanksgiving!


November 16, 2010

Friday: The return of Casino Trivia!

Okay, excellent. Last Labor Day weekend, I blazed yet another trivia trail, running the trivia table at the makeshift casino at a Winkel & Balktick warehouse party, and we're doing it again. Another warehouse party, this one in (I think?) Clinton Hill (need to check my official Brooklyn neighborhood map). The official text:

The Second Chance to Lose Art Casino

Come try your luck in our opulent den of gambling & debauchery, to benefit Swimming Cities. Fabulous prizes include art from our crew and friends.

9pm- late, $10 cover includes your first gambling stake.
Appropriate casino attire requested. Please - no BYOB.

Blackjack, roulette, cee-lo, and, naturally, trivia (three people at a time). And by the way, by "gambling stake," I believe it means "fake money."
Fun is your reward. It's this Friday, the 19th, at 9pm, at 15 Vanderbilt Avenue (at Flushing Ave), second floor. RSVP on Facebook here.

November 15, 2010

Presidents in showbiz

The big rumor today—both entirely plausible and totally absurd—is that former President Bill Clinton, while on a trip to Thailand (!), filmed a cameo appearance for the forthcoming The Hangover Part II. It prompted me to post the following witticism to the BQT Twitter feed: "President Clinton to cameo in The Hangover 2. Reminds me of when Grover Cleveland played Handkerchief Holder #3 in Fred Ott's Sneeze." Obscure, yeah, but it's my damn tweet.

But then I got to think a little more about this—a former President showing up in a testoster-raunch comedy film? What kind of real precedent to we have for this? I began to formulate a full blog post, but Salon.com has beaten me to it, with a great item about Presidents (and VPs, and First Ladies) who've embraced showbiz post–White House. I had no idea about Ronald Reagan's All-Star Game adventure; I wish they had audio of that, but it seems to have evaded the Interwebs.

And I'm amazed that there's no video of George Bush the Elder smacking down Dana Carvey. I've seen it on TV several times, and its apparent absence on YouTube is stunning. Instead, try this: Carvey's memories of meeting the real Bush, back when he was funny ("he" being Carvey, not Bush—though I guess Bush applies too).


The big Three-Way Finale, straight from Boston

Here it is, the finale of last week's Big Quiz Thing at Oberon in Boston (well, Cambridge). Hurrah.


November 9, 2010

Recap: Clash of the Boston trivia titans

Will keep it brief, since I'm on the road…

Last night was the fourth Big Quiz Thing at Oberon, still one of my favorite venues, in the heart of graduate-student-ville, Harvard Square. Our return is already scheduled—Monday, January 10—so we're quickly making this our home away from home, and it's becoming clear to me that the Boston-area BQT is a protracted clash between two specific teams: Sparky Anderson Kicks Ass (previously known by other "FAMOUS NAME Kicks Ass" variations) and Goodbye Mr. Quips (previously known as Quips Ahoy, and I think something else). These two squads of trivia titans, between them, have won every Boston BQT thus far, and were pretty handily the top-scorers last night. They are not to be trifled with and, dare I say, the Boston area's ultimate masters of trivial knowledge. So as GMQ attempted to defend its Boston-area crown from the Sparky boosters, a mighty battle was waged. But there was an unexpected upstart…

The competition was heated—the Movie Potpourri Quiz (featuring the Movie Quote Thesaurus entry above), Three Degrees of Musical Separation (e.g., "The Guess Who/Hüsker Dü/Duke Ellington"), and a fun fun fun four-parter on 1920s slang. (As the big cheese, I gotta tell you, it was the bee's knees, for crying out loud, and if you don't agree, go fly a kite.) Thanks to special guest DJ XDon RicklesX (I have no idea) and returning B-Cutie Katie.

But it came down to the Three-Way Finale among, predictably, Sparky Anderson Kicks Ass, Goodbye Mr. Quips, and…Show Us Your Tips. Yes, the Oberon staff team. Amazing—we've various venue staffs play the Big Quiz Thing—most are paying only half attention, or think they're too cool to actually put forth a trivial effort—but never before has a team made it into the finale.

I must admit, I was gunning for the staff to win, just for the novelty, but I judged the finale fairly nonetheless, and after the teams tied it up one all, GMQ pulled it out with "In Spain, eight of the ten most common family names end with what letter?" A well-earned victory.
This photo totally does not do justice to the awesomeness of Oberon. We were filming the show last night, so I'm going to get footage on YouTube tout suite.

Also a shout-out to the Monstrous Humanoids, complete with their guide-dog team member (seriously), who come every time and are due a victory. Can you step between these tremendous titans of useless knowledge and claim the $200 jackpot? Be there January 10 to prove it.

November 7, 2010

Beware those sneaky mountains

Getting excited for Episode 2 of The Walking Dead? Me too—only 16 minutes away. This is what is considered news in our modern culture.

I loved the first episode, by the way—great balance of terrifying zombiesploitation and satisfyingly deep talkiness. But this post is not a review: It's a criticism, and an effort to creep the Big Quiz Thing blog onto the endless list of grammar/spelling-monitoring websites. I'm a professional, so why not?

A couple days ago, I visited the AMC website to rewatch the first episode of The Walking Dead, streaming for free (I'd watched it on premiere night, but dozed off halfway through—not high praise, but I had just completed a whirlwind trip to attest to my sanity in a maddening sea of people). And I saw this:
Let's take a closer look:
Really? A "sneak peak"? Does Episode 2 feature the top of a mountain surreptitiously trying to do something? Will Officer Rick turn a corner in Atlanta and suddenly run into a quietly movie zombie butte? Sadly, "sneak peak" is a common mistake I see all over the Internet these days; the fact that it's cliché is almost as bad as the spelling error.

I rolled my eyes when I spotted it on AMC's site, but whatever—such is the world we live in. I figured someone among the powers that be would fix it soon, but nope: I just revisited the site to confirm the next episode is at 10pm, and there it is, still wrong, wrong, WRONG!!!

Standards are breaking down. It starts with spelling on TV network websites, and next thing we know, the dead are walking the earth and civilization as we know it is in shambles. Heed my words…

November 5, 2010

Who won last Tuesday? Nepotism won.


Well, we've all had a few days to process that election. Fun fun.

But let's look at the aspects of the election that we can all agree on: trivia. Here in New York, we'll soon have a new governor, Andrew Cuomo. As you are doubtless aware, he is the son of a former governor, Mario Cuomo (in office 1983–1994). Hey, I voted for Andrew, and I like what I see from the guy, but I'm always a little skeptical of nepotism. I mean, what are the odds that the best guy for the job just happens to had his diaper changed by the boss?

Still, the Cuomos are far from alone; American politics—actually, politics everywhere—is extremely nepotistic. Makes me wonder if we should've just gotten ourselves a king after all (actually, we almost did). Some highlights:

— Ben Quayle, the 34-year-old son of the guy who's in a 20-way tie for the title of worst Vice President ever, just won the race to represent the third district of Arizona. Not that hard a trick, since it's a pretty bright red district, but Ben had some disadvantages: He attracted negative attention for running an ad in which he labeled Barack Obama "the worst President in history," in a stunningly poor understanding of American history; he also starred in a commercial with a couple little girls who he implied were his children (they're his nieces). Worst of all—to my mind—he announced his candidacy by having his dad declare it on Fox News. Ugh.

—Kentucky's getting itself a new senator, Rand "The Civil Rights Act Blows" Paul. An ophthalmologist, Paul had never run for office anymore, yet he managed to defeat both the Secretary of State and the Attorney General of Kentucky in order to win in this crazy, crazy year. Basically, the only reason he attracted any attention (at first) was because of his paternity: His dad is Texas Rep. Ron Paul, way too many Democrats' favorite Republican presidential candidates. This means that come January, we will have the rare occurrence of father and son have served in Congress simultaneously. (I wrongly tweeted the other day that this was the first time this was happening in 150 years, but I plum forgot about our national royalty, the Kennedys: The late Teddy's son Patrick has repped Rhode Island in the House since 1995.) Will Ron be jealous that his kid has a seat in a higher chamber? Does he secretly feel like he's smarter than his kid? How could he not, after seeing this:



—A silver lining of Tuesday night's results: Jerry Brown wins! All my life, I've loved California, and Governor Moonbeam is Mr. California: He was governor when I was born, later became mayor of Oakland and CA attorney general and secretary of state, and now he's going to be governor again, having crushed Madame Moneybags, who spent $140 million of her own dough on the race and now has jack to show for it (and I worry about eating $13 on a canceled bus ticket). Like many of you, I first heard of Brown when he ran for President in 1992, the first election I really paid attention to, and I've always loved this wacky guy. Besides, how could you not dig the subject of this song?



But he, too, is a beneficiary of daddy string-pulling: His dad, Edmund Gerald "Pat" Brown Sr. (yes, Jerry is Edmund Jr.), was gov from 1959 to '67. The only office holder between father and son's first term was your homeslice and mine, Ronald Reagan.

I suppose politics is no different from so many other lines of work in this world; after all, Donald Trump Jr. is an executive VP in his dad's company and is married to a supermodel. Every time I question my own career success, I consider how I did not enjoy these advantages, since my father is hardly Mr. Showbiz. I'm sure I would've had the inside track on being a pharmaceutical labor lawyer, but really, I don't think the shiny jackets would've fit in that line of work. Things happen the way they're supposed to.

By the way, this post has inspired me; expect a four-parter on father-son politicians in the BQT's near future. I promise.

November 1, 2010

BQT in City Scoops

Do you read City Scoops? Maybe you do and don't realize it—it probably shows up for free in your apartment with those blue envelopes of coupons. But it's got some decent cultural coverage, not to mention the occasional nifty quiz by BQT friend and host of the Williamsburg Spelling Bee Jen Dziura. Regardless, you should definitely read it this week: It's covering the NYC trivia beat, spotlighting three of Manhattan's top quiz providers, and the BQT, naturally, is there. Boo-yah. Read it and enjoy.

By the way, of the one sample trivia question that each company provides, I think ours is far and away the best—the essence of figureoutable. Mom is so proud.